Week 16, Day 3

Although this blog is ongoing, this is the final post of 2009, and like many people, I have a weight gain to report from the holiday season. But not too much. I went from 226 on Dec 22 to 230 today. All things considered, a 4 pound gain isn't too bad. Right?

And by "all things considered", I mean a blizzard on Christmas Eve, being snowed in until the following Tuesday, and graciously eating in moderation the food our hosts (my parents) abundantly shared. Sweet rolls for breakfast, dessert each night, noodles, cheese, and such at dinner time, etc. Mom and Dad have eaten this way for decades, and the holidays are no time to make a big hairy deal out of special meals for me, especially when we're snowed in and eating food they hadn't counted on sharing out of their limited means. And Mom, bless her heart, is one of those good cooks who always insists everyone take second helpings. Workouts were limited. No stairs, no bike, no way to get out for a walk, none of my usual stuff.

My innards have been paying for Christmas week. I don't handle stress well, for one thing. And I inherited my mother's finicky innards. So the weather watching and crazy ride over to Iowa on Christmas Eve had my insides pretty well wrecked. I was completely determined to NOT miss this Christmas since my dad is facing some major health hurdles in the very near future (please pray for him). But I think I must have been a bit nuts to take off in the kind of weather we were having. There were times when the road wasn't even visible --heck, none of the outside was visible, and I'm quite certain it was only God and His angels keeping us on the highway. It took us a little under three hours to make an hour and 15 minutes trip. Then there was more weather watching as we tried to figure when we could leave to get Adam back to work. He got someone to work for him on Saturday and completely missed Sunday. Monday he had off, and finally on Tuesday morning the highways cleared enough to allow tow trucks through -- I figured then if we got stuck, at least someone could come rescue us. Between all this an the normal stresses of holidays, I have been alternating between diarrhea, nothing moving at all, and throwing up (which just started yesterday --yippy).

NEW YEAR GOAL
The good news is that the new season of Biggest Loser begins next week on Tuesday, January 5. I'm so excited! My older son, Dan, got me one of the Biggest Loser videos and some resistance bands for Christmas. With that and the exercise shoes Adam got me, I'm all set to make great progress in the coming months. As you know, my goal is it make it to 184 by March 27. I'm at 230 today, so I've got a looong way to go. Frankly, I'm not sure I can make it. But I KNOW I can at least get under 200 pounds by then. And I WILL make that goal for SURE! What are YOUR goals?

Today's Tip:
All the experts say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and that we should take it easy on the evening meal. My friend Charlotte found this on someone else's blog, and I thought it was good to share here as a reminder of the way our meals should be eaten: "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar." Thanks, Charlotte!

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Week 15, Day 1

I hit 226 pounds today. Thank you to all who have been offering support through these very difficult times. Though the blog postings have been only intermittent, you have still been amazing in your support and in helping me through this. Thank goodness for Facebook, Hotmail, and cellphones -- and for the loving kindness of friends. I am forever grateful.

Food has been a forced issue this last week, only a few bites of a sandwich once in awhile, simply enough to hold me while I pop down a few vitamins. I have no appetite and can't seem to stand the thought of it. These past couple of days intestinal distress has quickly removed whatever calories I've taken in. Definitely not the way I intended to lose weight. But I guess if it gets me where I need to be, it's not all bad. Maybe it will get me there before it's too late. It sure would be nice if I make it to slim and healthy in time for Dad to be proud of me.

Please continue to pray for him.

Today's Tip:
Don't put off your weight loss. There are people who want to see you healthy NOW, and they may not be here later to see it if you delay. Trust me, you'll regret it deeply.

Week 14, Day 3

I know I'm not unique in having painful family issues to deal with. We all have things that come up, and we all have passages to traverse. And I'm guessing when we do, we all feel like the only ones who ever felt so bad, sad, etc. I'm not going to go into any of it in a public forum like this, but suffice it to say, crap is hitting at a time when I'm already depressed and struggling, and it looks like the bumps in the road are about to become big ol' mountains to climb. Considering my appetite has gone completely away today, I'm guessing this can either be the best thing possible in terms of losing weight (though probably not the most healthy way to do it) or it can be devastating to my efforts. Clearly, I need to be careful and make sure I don't resort to comfort eating. No mass quantities of chocolate to get me through, or huge plates of pasta and cheese late at night to help me finally go to sleep. Wish me luck.

Today's Tip:
Eat This, Not That has some great advice about food additives that can not only compromise your health, but also sabotage your diet. Their recent newsletter says:

"A secret ingredient in packaged foods may be making you fat. University of North Carolina scientists found that people who ate monosodium glutamate (a.k.a. MSG) were more likely to be overweight than those who didn't consume the flavor enhancer.

The researchers speculate that the additive interferes with brain neurons, stimulating appetite. Most products don't list monosodium glutamate on their labels, but if you see "hydrolyzed vegetable protein" or "vegetable protein extract," consider it code for "MSG."

For more scary additives, food substitutes, and unpronounceable chemicals that reside in your everyday meals, check out our Food Additive Glossary.

Week 14, Day 2

I think this has been the hardest week of the entire three months so far. Rampant PMS, no energy, terrible depression, hungry ALL the time, and no weight loss at all. I feel like giving up, not just on the diet but on life itself. My head knows better, but my heart is in terrible trouble. I think it's all hormones. If I didn't, I'd find a tall building and take a short leap. This has really been miserable.

I don't even remember what I ate yesterday. A sandwich, a bowl of oatmeal that turned out like crap, a bowl of soup. Something else maybe? I really don't remember. Some leg lifts - about 50 in the evening. I haven't eaten today. I'm hungry, but I don't know for what. That's part of the problem. Nothing is satisfying. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I need. Adam and I are going out to see a movie later on tonight. I hope that helps.

Today's Tip:
NBC has posted info about their new team of Biggest Losers for Season 9. Click here to see it. The new season begins January 5. Just in time for New Years resolutions to kick into high gear. I'll be there. Will you be there with me? Please join with me! I need the support! I really can't do this alone!

Week 13, Day 7

I am firmly retreating from the world tonight. I've had two bowls of hot soup, a sandwich, and two cookies. And now I'm going to take my Jillian Michaels book and go to bed. It's safer there. I was fine until I went out this afternoon and slid sideways down the street about four blocks from home. Coming home, I saw two other cars in the same place smashed up with the owners exchanging information. It took me about two hours to stop shaking. I HATE winter ice!

No exercising today other than the workout my legs get from the tense walking I do on ice and snow and about ten minutes of intense shivering in the car before it warmed up. I'll probably do some leg lifts in bed later on. I'm up to 30 per leg now.

I think my mood lows the past week have probably been because of Mother Nature bitch slapping me again. I didn't think it was time for that nonsense yet, but I guess it's been about three weeks since I plummeted before, so this is only a bit early. Whatever. I don't like getting older, but I won't miss PMS. The Jillian Michaels book talks a lot about hormones, so maybe it will help me avoid a lot of this misery.

Today's Tip:
I have none. And that's okay. Not every day has to be a banner day. We just have to keep moving forward anyway.

Week 13, Day 6

I don't know what's wrong with me. The more I exercise, the more food I want. I've eaten sooo much the past couple of days. And it doesn't help that Adam made cookies last night. Really, really good cookies. They were made with oatmeal, so they weren't complete crap. But they were far from good for me. I walked about a mile yesterday and biked for a half hour today. I've done 50 leg lifts each day. And I've done weight work on my arms. And I've eaten. And eaten. And eaten. And all I can think about is food. And death and loss and really horrid depressing stuff -with associated crying myself to sleep each night. Something is terribly out of whack in my head! UGH! I need to seriously refocus! I'm not sure how, but somehow I've got to get myself back into some sort of "normal" zone. Not that I've ever had a normal life, nor do I want to. I like extraordinary. I like eclectic. But I don't like morbid. And I hate morbid obesity. I'm NOT happy with where I am right now. Tomorrow has GOT to be better!

Today's Tip:
I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday and bought Jillan Michael's new book. Jillian is one of the trainers on the Biggest Loser show. She's the one who is usually the hardest, the one everyone thinks of as a bit bitchy. But I'm finding her book Master Your Metabolism: The 3 Diet Secrets to Naturally Balancing Your Hormones for a Hot and Healthy Body! to be very heartfelt and warm. It's very easy to read, very encouraging, and very full of empathy and step-by-step here's-how-to-really-make-a-change advice. It makes me want to give her a great big hug and then sit at her feet and listen to every word she says. I suspect it's exactly what I need right now. I'm on my way through it again, with a highlighter this time. It's worth really studying.

Week 13, Day 4

I decided today would be a day for giving in. Not giving up. But simply letting myself have the things I've been craving. So I had noodles for dinner and sweets for dessert. It was time to give in. I've had three miserable days captive in the house because of weather, depressed because of hormones, and being driven nuts by cravings.

Hoping to offset the damage I did with my errant eating, I have tried to put in extra exercising today. I walked at the store and am exercising during commercials on tv tonight. And speaking of exercising, what the heck are planks? I've been hearing about them, but I have no idea what they are. Clearly, I still have a lot to learn.

Today's Tip:
Using herbs and spices in your cooking will reduce your need and desire for sugars and salt, thereby helping you in your weight loss quest. But be careful about where you store them. Heat, light, and moisture are all enemies of herbs and spices. So don't store them near these damaging influences. That means that while having them on or near your stove may be convenient, it's not good for your tasty add-ins.

Week 13, Day 3

Good grief, why have I been hungry ALL THE TIME the past few days? All I want to do is EAT. And when I do eat, nothing is satisfying. I suspect is has something to do with being trapped in the house for three straight days because of the blizzard, but still... there has to be some way to deal with this that I have yet to discover.

I've done mostly leg lifts and work with my resistance bands the past few days. I'll be glad when my car is unburied from the snow so I can go out walking at the store. Right now I feel old and blobby. And my knees and back hurt. I loved the finale of the Biggest Loser on Tuesday, but since then I've just felt really big. They are skinny and I'm huge. And I just want to sit down and cry. Okay, so that's not gracious or strong of me to admit, but it's honest. Perhaps it's only hormonal or just stir-crazy induced, but today just doesn't feel good. Maybe tomorrow will be better and I'll keep moving forward to my goals.

Food log: sandwich, bowl of cereal, and a yogurt. Maybe something later to make my stomach stop burning.

Today's Tip:
Not every day is going to be filled with energy, success, and enthusiasm when you're on a weight loss and fitness journey. Admit it, don't feel guilty, and NEVER let it stop you.

Week 13, Day 2

I exercised during all but two commercial breaks last night during the Biggest Loser two-hour finale. So why do I feel fat today? I really want to meet my 50 pounds of additional weight loss by March 27, so I really need to hit it hard each day between now and then. Only 107 days left, a little more than 15 weeks. So I need to lose about one pound every other day or about 3-1/2 pounds a week. Can I make it? I don't know now. I might have gotten too optimistic when I set that goal.

Eating has been a bit messed up, though. My stomach has been burning yesterday and today. Usually I eat something like crackers or soup or something to make it feel better, and I tried that last night. But nothing is working. All I did was add calories I don't need. Ugh. I've had a sandwich and two yogurts to eat today. I don't know what I'll do for dinner. I want a big salad, but I don't have the ingredients and can't get out because of the snow. I have some frozen veggies. I think I might add some cheese and have that for dinner.

SUBWAY AND THE BIGGEST LOSER
I watched the Biggest Loser finale last night, of course. It turned out pretty much like I expected. Danny won. Liz didn't make it into the final three. And two of the contestants looked like skeletons -- Rebecca and Tracey. But the pleasant surprise was what Subway is doing for Shay. She started out so big...476 pounds, and lost 172 pounds. Great job! But that still puts her at 306 pounds. So Subway is offering her $1000 per pound she loses between now and the finale of the next season of Biggest Loser. A 100 pound loss could mean $100,000 in her pocket. That's a great incentive! The reality is that it's a great marketing gimmick. But that's potentially a huge amount of money for them to spend, so I can't help but believe that at some level they really do care. Not only that, but the 2009 Zagat Fast-Food Survey has rated the Subway brand as the #1 overall provider of “Healthy Options”. Check out their online nutrition information for each menu item.

TODAY'S TIP:
Adding even a little bit of walking to your routine each day can help burn calories and boosts your weight loss. And it doesn't have to be hard to add a bit more walking. Prevention magazine suggests these simple ways to increase your steps without spending a lot of time:

* Walk around the perimeter of the grocery store at least once before heading toward the items you need.
* Move in place whenever you're talking on the phone.
* Go through or around the entire shopping mall instead of parking near the store you need.
* Take a walk around the block at lunch and after dinner.

Week 13, Day 1

The finale of Biggest Loser is tonight. I feel sad because it's like saying goodbye to friends. I feel ecstatic, though, because as of today I have lost 25 pounds. My goal is to lose another 5 by Christmas, and a total of 50 pounds from today until March 27 -- my 50 by 50 challenge. Will you keep helping me, please? I count on your encouragement and advice more than you could possibly know!

Today's Tip:
Freebie Alert!!! Nubella.com is offering a free low-calorie cookbook in ebook format. You can access it at this link: https://www.qualityhealth.com/resources/creative/email/ebooks/General_Ebook_QualityHealth_LowCalSlimDown_Ebook.pdf

WARNING:
Slim-Fast ready-to-drink products are ALL being recalled because of contamination. To see the recall notice from the FDA, follow this link: http://www.fda.gov/Safety/Recalls/ucm192978.htm?s_cid=w_c_sms_cont_001

Week 12, Day 7

I know there are men who read this blog. But I just have to say something. It's diet-related, I swear. -- I HATE the hormonal "issues" that come once a month. Honest to God, I would have killed last night for a chocolate bar. Today I'm tired, run down, bithcy, and I still want chocolate. How can I lose weight if once a month I have The Beast to deal with? Ugh!

And now I must confess to you. I DID give in to the chocolate craving. Today after I dropped Adam off at work, I stopped by Burger King. (I had Doggie with me, so I couldn't go to a grocery store.) I got a salad (lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, cheese, no dressing) and a piece of Hershey's pie. Three bites of the pie were enough to make me feel human again. In fact, it was almost too much since I'm not used to sweet stuff anymore. It probably helped that I ate the salad first so at least I wasn't eating the pie out of hunger. The rest is going in the freezer to stay put until next month when undoubtedly The Beast will strike again.

Here's another confession. I have only done a few leg lifts today. In my defense, I have had work to do all day. I'm a freelance writer, and though I don't go to an office, I do still need to be disciplined enough to work. Besides, The Beast has made me really tired. That and the snow blowers came at 3 o'clock this morning to remove snow from the sidewalk right outside my window. I know, I know. That's a poor excuse for being so sedentary today. And to make myself feel better about being a slug, I'm going to try to at least put a few miles in on the bike this evening and some weight work with my arms. But truthfully, I don't think it will be much.

Today's Tip:
Prevention Magazine has an awesome website with a Body Mass Index calculator, a health tracker, quizzes, all kinds of helpful tips and ideas, and some great informative articles. One of the things I found that made me feel better is from a slideshow titled, "Foods Not to Ditch When You Diet". They said that pasta is actually not a bad thing. I suppose they don't mean plate after plate of it like you can get at Olive Garden's "never-ending pasta" event. But still, having some isn't bad.

Prevention says, "Cooked pasta and rice are about 70% water--and eating fluid-rich foods keeps you fuller longer, compared with dry foods, according to research from the British Nutrition Foundation. Like bread, the carbs in pasta boost serotonin to help curb overeating.The proper portion of pasta is ½ cup cooked, or about the size of an ice-cream scoop. Choose whole grain varieties for filling fiber, and add grilled chicken and lots of veggies to bulk up your dish even more."

Week 12, Day 6

Do you feel this blog is helping you in any way? If so, please won't you help me by 1) "following" it through Networked Blogs (part of Facebook) or Google Friends, AND 2) recommending this blog to your friends? If not, would you please let me know what I can do better? I am humbled by the comments I have received so far, letting me know my journey is making a difference. But I lost a "follower" today, and I don't know why. Plus, I'm a little frustrated that this isn't reaching more people if it is, indeed, helpful.

I have nearly all of my Christmas shopping done. It has been wonderful to feel well enough and be fit enough to be able to get out and actually shop in person rather than being in such horrid shape that I am forced to do the bulk of it online. I'm looking forward to reporting here even more things I am able to do either again or for the first time as time goes on. I feel very hopeful today!

Food and exercise -- I have tons of energy today, so exercise is not an issue. About 15 minutes stair climbing, 15 minutes on the bike, and I dont' know how long doing weights with my arms. And for some reason my appetite is nearly nothing today. I had sandwich earlier, and I'm giving oatmeal another shot tonight (trying to not accidentally make enough for a small army). Yippy for days when constant hunger is not an issue!

I dont' know how many calories I eat each day. Perhaps there will come a time when I want to put enough effort into the process to figure it all out each and every day. But that's not what I care about right now. I have a general idea that I have significantly reduced my intake, and that's good enough.

Today's Tip:
Take time to laugh. Seems simple enough, but it really is a marvelous tool in the weight loss arsenal. For one thing, it reduces stress, which in turn reduces the release of "stress hormones" that make us fatter. Plus, you actually burn calories and tone your abdominal muscles when you laugh. An article in USA Today says, "Dieters looking for another edge might want to consider exercising their sense of humor — scientists have found that a good laugh is a calorie burner not to be ignored." Oh sure, your caloric burn won't be HUGE. The study, done at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, estimates 10 to 15 minutes of giggling will burn only 50 calories. But still, what a delightful way to burn them! And every little bit helps. :)

Week 12, Day 5

A dear friend of mine, Sheryl, is a very active person. Or at least she was until she fell off her bike recently. Now she is in terrible pain. Her plight is a reminder to stop taking for granted what we CAN do. I used to be fit and stupidly gave it up because of stress, asthma, and laziness. With Adam running for the first time in his life just this past week and now learning of Sheryl's new challenges, I'm more determined than ever to continue working on increasing my fitness level and being HAPPY to do it instead of viewing it as a chore. As a bonus, the weight will come off. And it will honor those I care so deeply about. Will you join me in HAPPY exercise? C'mon--we CAN do it!

With that in mind, I went for a walk at Target tonight. I'm still getting used to my new Shape Up shoes, so I can't go quite as far as I did before. But I am noticing my calves have the beginnings of a better shape to them already.

I've also felt really good about what I've eaten today. However, I'm so much NOT a domestic person. I made some oatmeal today and didn't measure correctly. Instead of a big bowl of oatmeal, I ended up with enough to feed two or three people. So I had oats for breakfast AND lunch.

I like whole steel-cut oats. They're much heartier and filling. I put pumpkin pie spice in and a bit of syrup for sweetness. Mmm....yummy! However, I was also appalled. The Mrs. Butterworth's pancake syrup is actually mostly high fructose corn syrup, a completely engineered product masquerading as food. So while at Target tonight I picked up some real maple syrup and threw away the Mrs. Butterworth's stuff when I got home. Another step foward in my quest to remove non-food "food" from my life.

For dinner tonight I was feeling like something different. So Adam and I went to Olive Garden. Now you have to understand this -- I've spent years enjoying every morsel of Olive Garden pastas, breadsticks, and salad. Tonight, however, we had nothing but the unlimited soup and salad. They brought breadsticks, but we didn't touch them. Bleached flour, too much salt. Not good. I had a bowl of chicken and gnocchi soup with roasted chicken and spinach that was marvelous, though. And we ordered the salad with dressing on the side instead of coming to us drenched in dressing. According to the online nutrition information for Olive Garden, the dressing increases the calorie count by roughly 200 percent! We've gotten so used to not using dressing that we each used only about a tablespoon each for the whole meal. The bowl was refilled twice, and the second time the kitchen sent it out with dressing on the salad, and we sent it back. One thing they teach on the Biggest Loser is that it's okay to ask for food to be prepared the way you want it, and it's okay to send it back if it's not right. We both came away absolutely stuffed and loved every minute of dinner.

Today's Tip:
Yesterday I talked a bit about stair climbing for fitness, but I wanted to expand on it just a bit today. Anyone with access to a flight of stairs can get a good workout. And it's simple enough that even a beginner or someone with limited fitness can do it (even me!). At first, it may only be a few steps, but with stairs it's so easy to build up to greater levels. Virgil Aponte, a certified health and fitness instructor, shares these ideas in his most recent newsletter:

1) Regular Walking: simply walking up stairs as
you would normally do. To adjust the intensity
here you simply walk faster or slower.
I usually change this from round to round.

2) Hands Behind the Head: Another way to
increase the difficulty of stair climbing is
to place your hands behind your head.
This variation will make walking up the
stairs more difficult by challenging your
balance and increasing the work demands
of your legs.

Week 12, Day 4

It's been a busy day interviewing, writing, planning, etc. And all that has made it a fairly productive one. I made a new logo for A New Suit, too. Please take a moment and let me know what you think of it!

Now it's time to settle in, watch a movie, and do some exercising. It feels so much better to exercise while a movie is on rather than just sit and stare at the screen, waiting for the story to unfold. It does, however, make me antsy at the theater when I can't get up and stair climb or do weight work on my arms! Oh well. DVDs at home are great for so many reasons...

The Season 8 Biggest Loser contestants traveled to LA today to prepare for the finale. I can't believe it's almost over! It's so easy to really care about these people when I've struggled right along with them week after week. And soon it will be time to say goodbye. Sad. But at the same time, I'm really eager to see how they all turned out! It's so encouraging to see them thin and healthy -- makes me feel like I can make it all the way, too.

Food today....a couple of sandwiches and some raspberry iced tea. I'll maybe have some yogurt later on before bed. I'm still bloated from the soup yesterday, so it was easy to not eat a whole lot today.

Exercising ... not a lot yet. Some at the store when I went out to get a new scarf and gloves. And then whatever I get in while the movie is on. Not a particularly great day for fitness, but part of that is because I slept late today. Tomorrow I have to get Adam to work by 9 o'clock, so I'll be up early and will have more time to get in a bike ride and maybe some better walking at the store. I'm also going to start trying to put in more stair climbing here at home. No sense having a 2-story apartment if I'm not going to take advantage of the great workout stairs can provide. I figure between the stairs, the recumbent bike, and the hand weights, I've got the materials for a pretty good workout right here at home. That's important since I don't have the money for a gym membership. Really, not matter what someone's income level is, there's no excuse for not getting a workout in. There's no law that says ANY of it has to be done at a gym!

Today's Tip:
The Internet is a wonderful thing and a great tool for those of us who want to eat better. I had gotten an email from Sonic yesterday telling about their new holiday milkshake -- peppermint and Andes mints in a concoction they call a Holiday Mint Blast. I gotta tell you, these things are just about the best, yummiest treats on the face of the earth. Tempting in ways that words can't describe!

But rather than give in, telling myself, "Well, a small one wouldn't be so bad," I went to the Sonic website and checked out their nutrition information. A SMALL one of these minty wonders has 700 calories in it! My lord. That's just wrong on so many levels. That many calories, yet very little of it has any nutrition and nearly none of it can be really classified as food. (In Sonic's defense, they do have healthy choices -- their grilled chicken salad is yummy and only had 248 calories, and they have a nutrition calculator that you can use to figure out how many calories and the nutritional information info of a meal before you go.)

Most name-brand restaurants have their nutrition information online now. Start checking them out -- you'll be surprised, and it will be a great encouragement to stay home and eat real food that will actually do your body some good. As for the tempting "treats", one look at the caloric content, and your desires will be much more likely to remain under control!

Week 12, Day 3

Cheap chicken noodle soup may be mmmm...good, but I think I made a mistake in eating some tonight. Not only is it 17 degrees and snowing outside (perfect soup weather), but now, because I ate salty, crappy canned soup, I am swollen up like a Thanksgiving Day parade balloon. So much for "comfort food". Something inside me tells me it wasn't even really "food".

The good thing is that I'm drinking tons of water, partially because the salt made me so darned thirsty and partially because I want to flush all this sodium out of my system as soon as possible. Drinking all the water has my stomach bloated, so I can't possibly eat anything. That would be silver lining to this sodium poisoned cloud.

I've been writing all day, so I haven't done any exercising yet, but after I get done here, I will spend a half hour on my bike and a half hour working on my arms. Little Man keeps getting bigger each day, so I need to make sure I keep working on my arms to keep up. Seems funny...it's like I am losing weight, and he's finding it. :)

My cousin told me yesterday that she's coming for a visit in March. We haven't seen each other in about 15 years. I want to be able to go and do plenty with her while she's here, so I've got about 4 months to get myself in far better shape. Plus, I want to make sure there are plenty of pictures taken of the two of us, so I want to look my best. I'd hate to look back on the pictures in coming years and feel bad about myself. Maybe that's vain, but it's honest. And it's great motivation to keep working! Anything that keeps me moving forward can't be all bad, right?

Today's Tip:
If you're trying to lose weight, let your family know and ask them to get you weight loss-related gifts for Christmas. Some ideas are here on the left column <---, but you can make your own list and let them know. Maybe new digital scales for your bathroom, or a food scale so you can weigh your portions. Or how about hand weights or resistance bands? Your friends and family don't have to spend a lot in order to help you reach your goals! Please mention the links on this site - if they order anything from Amazon and enter the site from here, I get a small portion of the total spent, which will be use to help my son get to college. It's not easy being a single mom, and every bit helps!

Week 12, Day 2

Cold weather makes me want to go hibernate like some big fat, sleepy bear. It's been so nice and comfortable so far this Fall, but today it turned cold. Energy, I need energy, not hibernation!!! I'll never make my weight loss goals if I stay so sluggish. Ugh!!

I did my blog entry last night while the first hour the Biggest Loser show was on. But during the second hour there was a marathon the contestants had to do. I'm nowhere near ready for anything like that myself, and frankly, at this point I can't see that far ahead to even dream of it. But I did do my part toward making it a possibility. While they were all running and struggling, I was on my bike pedaling my heart out. It's the longest I've been on my bike, and it was hard. But it made me feel just a bit closer to achieving success like these folks have. It was cool, too, because when the contestants were struggling, there were former contestants and friends and such who would come alongside them and encourage them to keep going to the finish line. And it was like they were talking to me, too, as I worked on my bike.

I loved last night's Biggest Loser show. Don't forget to vote! Danny and Rudy are for sure in the final three, but Liz and Amanda are duking it out for the third spot. We viewers are the ones who will decide with our votes at the NBC website. I don't usually get wrapped up in reality TV audience votes. But these two are really special people, easy to care about. :)

Um, let's see....today I've eaten a chicken and vegetable thing from Manchu Wok (only 400 calories) and a cookie (shhh!), walked around the mall a bit, worked on my arm exercises, and I'll be on the bike later on. I feel a bit hungry right now, so I'll drink another bottle of water and go see what looks good. More and more we've gotten good food in the house so that we don't have to worry about it in terms of "good" or "bad". Yayee!

Today's Tip:
I saw this posted on a friend's Facebook wall today:

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." Wayne Dyer

And that's the thing to remember when the going gets tough -- and weight loss IS tough. We can stay miserable, or we can make the RIGHT choices and we can get up off our butts and spend a few more minutes working on our future. We CAN do this!

Huzzah!

Week 12, Day 1

Biggest Loser was awesome tonight. I wrote down one quote that struck me as particularly inspiring: "I have control of my destiny, and it's going to be way different." (Liz Young -- the 49 year old grandma on the show, the one who is "me".) That's the choice for overweight people, isn't it? We DO have control, and we can either choose to continue with the way things have been and deal with those consequences, or we can choose a future that's way different. As for me and my house, we have chosen to make things "way different". Thank you, Liz!

The holidays didn't take a terrible toll on me. I didn't lose weight, but I didn't gain either. And I cheated a bit through the week, so I'm glad I worked extra and I'm glad I had the determination to not completely go back to my old ways. So here I sit, still at a 22 pound loss.

Not much in the way of exercise yet, but Adam and I are going out after the show. Plus, I'm doing arm lifts during the show. As for food, I've had yogurt for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, and a bowl of beets for dinner.

Today's Tip:
Things I gathered from tonight's show. 1) It's NOT too late. 2) Face the fear and work through it. 3) Don't let a day go by without working on this. 4) Do it for yourself. 5) Once you have succeeded (and you WILL), don't EVER go back to the way you were.

Week 11, Day 7

I did leg lifts and arm exercises while watching Heroes tonight. And I did some extra walking at the store earlier today. It's amazing how easy it is to forget you're exercising when you're in the middle of doing something else, too.

I dread weighing in tomorrow. I have cheated a few times this week, so I don't think I lost any weight. Which I guess isn't so bad considering many people gained. I don't think I put on weight, but I'm fairly certain I haven't dropped any either. That's okay. As long as I get under 200 pounds by my birthday in March, I'll be okay with it all. And to keep me motivated, I've got another picture of Little Man to gaze at and remember how much fun he and I will have when I'm more fit. This one is from Thanksgiving Day. :) (And by the way, after looking at the holiday pics, I am determined that when I have lost 100 pounds or when my 50th birthday comes --whichever comes first, I will treat myself to a well-deserved first-time experience with hair dye.)

I got back into my rut today as far as eating is concerned. Cereal for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch. I tried some Greek yogurt for dinner. I heard Greek yogurt is supposed to be better for us than regular yogurt. Maybe it was an bad brand, so I may give it another try with a different brand. But the stuff I ate tonight was completely horrible. I had to eat some Yoplait just to get the nasty yucky taste out of my mouth. There's only so far I can go with this dieting. I like having some yogurt in the evenings and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. In fact, I feel good about eating that and appreciate the live cultures that help my picky innards stay healthy. But I just can't see the value of changing to something I completely hate only because someone says it's better for me. I'm making a lot of changes already, and I'm doing okay with all of them. This one I can't do. I will, however, try a different brand just in case.

Today's Tip:
You gotta check out Biggest Loser videos are on YouTube. Awesome interviews with the contestants and some great advice. Click here to directly to the official videos (not just someone snagging and posting them, but the real ones from NBC): Biggest Loser on YouTube.

Week 11, Day 6

Adam ran for the first time last night at a session of laser tag. No, really. He ran for the first time....ever. He was born with a rare orthopedic birth defect and had many, many surgeries over several years to correct the problems and save his left leg. It is still a couple inches shorter than the other, but the past 2 or 3 years especially he has made tremendous progress in his Pinocchio journey toward becoming a "real boy". And now my 20 year old little boy finally is able to run like any other guy.

He stated that his expectation is that someday in the not so distant future I will be able to run, too. I think it would be awesome to be able to go play laser tag! Toward that goal, Adam took me out today to buy me an early Christmas gift. I've been wearing my office shoes because without a job I can't really afford to spend dollars on walking shoes or athletic shoes. So Adam got me a pair I've been wanting so my workouts will be easier on my feet. Famous Footwear has Skechers brand shoes, and the new models are called Shape Ups. They are built to simulate walking on soft sand, so your legs work harder as you walk. If you're familiar with FitFlops brand that came out a few years ago, these are similar. But Shape Ups come in styles besides summertime flip-flops and Skechers' prices are more affordable.

I went out for my daily walk in my new shoes. Man, oh man! Thirty minutes in these shoes and I thought my lower legs were going to fall off! But these are by far the most comfortable shoes I have EVER worn. It seriously feels like walking on a pillow. There is absolutely no stress on my heels or my knees. So we'll see how they work over the long haul. Skechers claims, "Shape-ups will help you lose weight and improve your circulation, creating a healthier you!" If they're right and that's not just marketing-speak, then Adam just gave me one of the best possible gifts I'll receive this year. I'll keep you posted!

I've eaten well today. It's getting to take less and less thought and energy to figure out what to eat now. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast. I'm pretty well settled on Cascadian Farm organic Flax Right with pomegranate raspberry clusters. It's really, really yummy and amazingly filling. When it gets cold outside, I'll eat more hot cereal, probably oatmeal. We needed to run errands at the mall today, so I got lunch at Manchu Wok. The honey garlic chicken has only 430 calories in it, and I took half of it home for dinner. I'll have some yogurt later after Adam gets off work.

Today's Tip:
A couple of weeks ago I recommended the CalorieKing book for figuring out calories, cholesterol, etc. in food, both at home and when eating out. But today I discovered that they have a website, too, with a free database. I checked, and there is a mobile version of the website so you can access it from your cellphone when you're out shopping or dining. You can get to it at this link: http://www.calorieking.com/foods/ Be sure to bookmark it, both on your home computer and your cellphone!

Week 11, Day 5

Today was, I think, a triumph in eating. Okay, yes, I cheated. But I think I did it the right way. So I'll tell you about the cheating first, and then I'll tell you my other triumphs.

THE CHEATING:
To begin with, I got a little three ounce container of Ben & Jerry's peppermint chocolate cookie ice cream. It's one of those tiny containers that only costs a dollar. There are only 210 calories in it, so I figured that no more than I've eaten today, it would be okay. I savored every bite I ate. But here's the thing: I only ate until the craving was gone. About three small spoons of it. Half the container was left, and I threw it away. Imagine that, ME throwing away Ben & Jerry's ice cream! I'm a BIG fan of theirs -- I've even been to Vermont to tour the factory. So my throwing away ANY of it was a big deal. But I didn't feel bad. I had eaten all I wanted, and finishing the container just "because" didn't make sense. I got my dollar's worth, my tastebuds were happy, and all was well with the world.

THE OTHER TRIUMPHS:
For breakfast I had an Egg McMuffin at McDonalds. I haven't eaten there in a few years because their food is so wretched. But we left the little town in Iowa where my parent's live at 7 o'clock this morning, and since my folks were still asleep, we didn't risk waking them up by fixing breakfast. In little-town Iowa, the only thing open that time of day -- heck the ONLY thing open with a drive-through ANY time of day was McD's or Burger King. I've read enough from Eat This, Not That to know that the Egg McMuffin was our best choice. And that's the lesson -- given the options, try to choose what's really the best.

Then for lunch, I discovered my sister was still here in Omaha visiting her daughter (my sister lives in Missouri). So I asked them to join me for lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, Wheatfields. (If you're ever in Omaha, this is an outstanding place to eat. We have several world-class eateries-- ask me and I'll steer you to the best ones.) My sister and I have been battling the bulge for a few years now. She's always been slim and trim, and even now, she's not huge like I am. But still, we both need to lose weight. So rather than order what I used to get -- something rich and wonderful with hollandaise sauce, for instance -- my sister and I ordered a half portion of salad with chicken breast, almonds, strawberries, and romaine lettuce. And NO dessert -- which was a first for me at Wheatfields since they have excellent desserts. I felt really good about it! My niece went ahead and ordered a more substantial entree since that was going to be all she ate today, but she chose something with meat and veggies and not a lot of sauce. We did well!

And tonight when Adam got off work, he was eager for us to go walking. We didn't have anything to get at WalMart, but he knows I can get a good amount of walking done there. So that's where he wanted us to go. It was great. I think all the shoppers were out yesterday because the store seemed nearly empty of people. I got about a mile in. So it's been a good day!

TODAY'S TIP:
During lunch I told my sister and my niece about the two books I've been reading (and I think I've mentioned them here before) -- In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto and Twinkie, Deconstructed I love those books! Really the past couple of weeks they have changed my whole view of food. Like processed food, by and large, isn't...it just isn't food anymore. Too many dyes, preservatives, and other additives to emulsify, stabilize, thicken, unthicken, enhance the flavor, and any number of other purposes until the "food" just doesn't even faintly resemble it's original on-the-farm condition. And if it's not food, don't eat it! That's the thing about Ho-hos and Twinkies and honey buns and packaged brownie mixes and lots of breakfast cereals and Hamburger Helper, and so many things that are soooo tempting. They're not food anymore. So why eat them? It's better to eat the package they come in!

Wow -- it really is a life-changer! I'm getting a copy of those books for my son and his wife, my sister, and my niece. And they're all excited about it because what little I've been able to relate to them over this Thanksgiving holiday just makes so much sense. Isn't it great when you have those ah-ha moments in life where nothing is the same anymore? :) If I had enough money, I'd buy everyone a copy of each book. But since I don't, the best I can do is really strongly recommend that you either get it from your library or buy a copy. But beware -- once you know the truth, you'll want to get copies for your family!


NOTE: I did some checking on the price of these books. I got my copies originally at Barnes and Noble. I've seen since then that there's about a 60 percent savings by getting them at Amazon. Here are the links:

Week 11, Day 4

A mile walk today with Little Man in his stroller. I wish he lived closer so I could do that every day! Coming over here to visit is so good for me -- gives me the added boost to keep going in the weight loss and fitness goals.

I saw the pictures that were taken yesterday and I do NOT look good. Terrible double chin when I look down -- like a whole other face beneath my chin! And my lower half is still huge. It's kind of depressing, but I like knowing I'm getting rid of this. I'm turning 50 in March, and I want to be under 200 pounds by then. That gives me 37 pounds to lose in 4 months. It's a good goal.

Like most of America, we had leftovers for dinner today. Unfortunately, by the time the green beans got to me, the bowl was empty. So I had ham with a tiny daub of cranberry sauce on top. Mom served pie for dessert, and I didn't say no since pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving is a favorite. But I regretted it and ended up leaving half of it on my plate. I think that's a big step, though. I grew up with parents who insisted I clean my plate. Leaving food (especially dessert) and walking away feels almost like a sin. Like God Himself is going to punish me. But I am at the place now where I'm okay with stepping away. Next step will be at Christmas and just flat out saying no to dessert. I don't have it normally in my life, and I will not indulge at Christmas. I had my splurge at Thanksgiving, so I'm okay with it.

Today's Tip:
This tip seems especially relevant since I have trouble sticking with my diet when I come visit my parents and Mom has such good food. This is from Jillian Michael's newsletter. Go to www.JillianMichaels.com to subscrbe. It's free, and you can't beat advice from a trainer like her! So here it is: Many of my contestants on the The Biggest Loser have this problem: Moms, dads, brothers, sisters, husbands, and wives always push food on them. I tell them exactly what I'm telling you: Acknowledge these behaviors. Recognize the problems, sit the people in question down, and let them know that you are trying to lose weight and be healthy. Tell them how they can help and support you. Chances are they'll want to help and will be willing to learn new recipes so that they can cook for you without sabotaging your health and happiness.

Week 11, Day 3

Great holiday with Little Man. We watched Fraggle Rock and cuddled. And in those moments neither of us were distracted by the fact that the house was full of family. What a lovely time! Had a great day with the family, too. Kids, parents, sister, niece, her kids. It was quite memorable. Wonderful food, too. And yes, I did eat a sliver of pumpkin pie. But I feel like the rest of the meal was overall quite healthy -- healthier in total than any other holiday meal I remember ever. To prepare, I promised myself ahead of time I would only take small portions and I wouldn't do second helpings -- and I kept my promises.

I was pleased at what appealed to me today. I made a totally healthy green bean side dish and ate a hearty helping. (The rest of the family seemed to like it, too!) My daughter-in-heart prepared some wonderful rosemary potatoes (she's a fabulous cook). And I ate a slice of ham. I had some dressing with dinner, too, since it was Thanksgiving. In all years past -- as many as I can remember -- the dressing was about the best part of the meal. I LOVED dressing, particularly Stove Top Stuffing. But this time the dressing seemed to have no flavor other than way too much salt. I was glad I only got a tablespoon of it, because otherwise I would have left it on my plate. (I was glad, too, that I was the one who brought it so I didn't end up hurting anyone's feelings.) I skipped the cranberry sauce, too, since it has so much sugar in it. All in all, I felt really good about dinner. And I loved the time with family, all of us gathered around the table. I feel very blessed.

I haven't had any exercise today. I'm hoping that later on Adam and I will go out for a walk. And I brought my resistance bands with me so I can do some work with those before bed. Adam questioned my desire to exercise on Thanksgiving. But I told him that the process goes on, regardless of what day it is. Living healthy is not a burden. It is a requirement so I can live, and it is a joy to know I'm on the right track and doing a positive thing.

I hope you ALL had a wonderful day and took time to remember the blessings of life. Thank you ALL for being a part of my journey!

Week 11, Day 1 and 2

Drats, no weight lost last week. But nothing gained, either. So I still sit at a 22 pound loss. That's a great way to go into Thanksgiving! We're headed to Iowa again, and since I'm bringing most of the meal with me, I get to choose healthy stuff. Wooohoo!

I didn't do much exercise yesterday. I've been so very tired and bloated. I'm guessing that's Mother Nature giving me her monthly bitch slap. And that could explain the lack of weight loss---could be water retention since my whole body seems completely bloated. I'll keep doing my best and see what next week brings on the scales. I got up early today and have already put in a half a mile of walking and some arm exercises. I'll get on the bike later. The next couple of days of playing with Little Man ought to take care of some major calorie burning, too.

Yesterday and today's food log: sandwich, egg, bowl of cereal (all yesterday), chefs salad, yogurt, and oatmeal (today).

I'm cooking the tomorrow's meat today and making the green beans (steamed, mushrooms, oregano, shallots, and garnished with a few almonds and a very light dusting of parmesan cheese). So tomororw all we have to do is heat it up. My parents asked for cranberry sauce, and they like the crappy canned jellied kind. I used to love that stuff, but now it seems to be quite a way from being real food. But that's okay. One time a year I can meet such a simple request from people who ask so little. The kids want dressing, and I'm bringing that, too. I won't eat any of it, but again, one time a year it's okay to put on the table.


Today's Tip:
I can't think of a better tip than encouraging gratitude. This day before Thanksgiving is a reminder, of course. But each day we need to be grateful for the blessings we have. Every person who has walked into our lives with kindness and love. Another day with the opportunity to do likewise for someone else. A roof over our head and clothes on our back. The freedom to say what we want, go where we desire, and worship as we see fit. And chocolate. I'm extremely grateful for everyone who reads this blog, too. It amazes me that you care and encourages me to keep moving forward if doing so helps you in any way. God bless you, and may you have a fabulous Thanksgiving!

Week 10, Day 7

One of the things I'm doing to offset the potential weight gain this week is shopping for Thursday a little bit each day and walking for at least an hour at the grocery store. I'm also making sure I always use the bathroom upstairs -- the climb up the stairs several extra times each day is bound to help.

I really like the activity and find that I'm getting antsy if I I don't get up, get out, and do something for my fitness each day. What a change from the sedentary soul I was a few months ago!

I've noticed, too, that my back is not hurting nearly as much as it did and my asthma symptoms are tremendously reduced. I still don't go out without my inhaler, but I only use it a few times a week instead of several times a day. The next 20 pounds gone will make an even bigger difference. I'm looking forward to it!

Today's food an exercise: cereal, sandwich, a bag of frozen peas and carrots, walking, arm work with weights and resistance bands, leg lifts.


Today's Tip:
I don't eat sugar on my cereal or oatmeal anymore. I use stevia or just let the food go naked if I can. But I miss the sweetness! Here's a tip I use (it works!) from The Biggest Loser Simple Swaps: 100 Easy Changes to Start Living a Healthier Lifestyle: Try adding sweet spices such as cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves to your favorite smoothies, cereal, yogurt, and even coffee or tea drinks. Not only do they add a delicious, sweet-spicy flavor, but they also contain antioxidants.

Week 10, Day 6

Someone brought us a pumpkin pie yesterday. They don't know I'm on a diet, and they meant well I'm sure. But I don't know what to do with it. It won't last until Thursday. And not eating it seems like a rude reaction to the kindness. But of course, eating it isn't good for my diet and I don't want to justify doing something bad for myself. What do normal people do about quandries like this? I have to learn or I won't stay thin once I lose all this weight. Right now I don't have a clue. Not an earthshaking problem, of course. But pumpkin pie is my favorite. Almost makes me want to cry right now.

Otherwise I've done okay today. I got in a half mile walk before breakfast. Seems kind of wimpy since Danny and Sean from the Biggest Loser show have both just completed full marathons. But it's the best I can do right now, and I was glad to have done it before anything else today. I've also done work with weights for my arms and some leg lifts. I've eaten okay today, too. The usual. I tend to fall into a rut with my eating. Probably one of the reasons I that contributed to my getting fat -- I fell into the wrong ruts before. Hopefully my ruts are better these days.

Today's Tip:
Processed foods are a huge contributor to weight problems. One suggestion I came across to combat this is to use the Rule of 5 -- if a package of food has more than 5 ingredients in it, steer clear of it. You want to eat food as close to its natural form as possible. Besides how do things like xantham gum, red dye with any number, natural flavors (shouldn't the food have its own "natural flavor"?), butylene glycol, or tartrazine help your health? More and more evidence has shown that many of the additives are actually bad for us -- red dyes, high fructose corn syrup, MSG -- the list keeps getting longer. Eat real food!

Week 10, Day 4 and 5

I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. I'm tired, sore, discouraged, and as hungry as if I hadn't eaten for a month. What's wrong with me? The weather is good enough that I should have gobs of vim and vigor. And yet here I sit...completely inactive.

Yesterday was a mixed bag, and it was so busy I forgot to come here and write a post until it was like 2 o'clock in the morning -- far too late for me to be writing something that should have some kind of coherent thoughts.

Here's the run down on the exercise: I biked for about 20 minutes first thing when I got up, and it felt good. Then I picked up a little around the house. Mid-afternoon we went to run errands at Whole Foods and the mall. I walked around Whole Foods a bit to get some more exercise. Then at the mall I got so tied up in trying to find a parking space that I forgot which store I needed to go to, and I ended up parking at the opposite end from where I needed to be. It's not a huge mall, but for me it was a lot of walking and I was really sore by the time we got back to the car. Then when we got home, I did more picking up around the house and got down on my hands and knees to spot scrub several doggie stains on the carpet. By the time I dropped into bed, I was in pain and exhausted. I'm guessing it was a "good" pain, in that it was evidence that I actually got up and around far more than I've been used to in a long time. But man...it has me stiff, sore, and tired. And, sadly, I haven't done very much today.

I've eaten well both days and was really pleased with the difference at the mall. Fast food places that a few months ago would have tempted me sorely just didn't have any appeal or pull for me at all. Changing my eating patterns, I think, is one of the hardest parts of dieting, and I was pleased to see that I have made some progress in that area. However, today I would kill for a chocolate chip cookie. Or an eclair. Yeah, that's it, I've wanted an eclair for a couple of days. Yogurt will just have to do.

The depressing part of yesterday was when I was sitting for a bit to rest on the way to the store I needed to go to. Across the corridor was a dark glass, and I could see my reflection. I realize maybe it distorted things a bit, but I did NOT like what I saw. I'm losing weight, I'm toning up, but I still look absolutely huge. It was completely disheartening. I know this takes time, but still...I wanted to sit there and cry. I don't FEEL like a fat person. I know I'm fat. But it is still jarring and depressing to have that visual image of the awful truth. It's times like this that it would be so easy to just give up -- it's taking too long, I don't have the patience to wait months and months until my body finally looks like it should. And I hate myself for letting me get to this point. Why did I do it? Why didn't I stop myself a long time ago? Now I'm stuck with this hellish looking body and stuck with pain and stuck with being tired. And I hate it. I guess that's what propels me forward -- it would drive me nuts to think I'd have to stay this way forever. Ugh.

Today's Tip:
As we become "me" focused in the weight loss journey, we have to remember to purposefully reach out to help others (not necessarily weigh loss oriented). Here's an opportunity. A friend of mine asked me to help spread the word about a special promotion that will benefit the March of Dimes. The radio station she works for is helping with this, so I KNOW it's legitimate. It's really easy, too, and it's great fun for the holidays. Plus, you can't beat helping a cause like the March of Dimes! Will you please help spread the word?

Here's the program: Get a text message from Santa for $5.49 on your phone (or your child's phone) and $1 of it goes to the March of Dimes. The top 3 markets also get a nice donation. Here is the link: http://omaha.textsanta.net/ Won't you please take a look and consider this for a kid in your life? And again, please help spread the word so even more money can be raised for the March of Dimes! Thank you!!!!

Week 10, Day 3

Used to be I'd send Adam into a store if he was shopping for something for himself or if there were only one or two things to get. I had neither the energy nor the lung capacity to accompany him. The past couple of days we've gone and run errands the better part of each day, and I've gone with him everywhere. Just one more bit of evidence that I'm making progress.

Did some walking today and some work on my arms. I'm going to get on the bike for a few minutes in a little while. I've had two sandwiches to eat and a small Orange Julius. And loads of water. I've finally gotten to the point where water is really very refreshing and I no longer have to force each glass down or even keep track of them.

Today's Tip:
I read a book today titled In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, by Michael Pollan. Man, this guy is good! It's an easy read but chock full of good information. It will change the way you shop forever, but without any effort. You will simply never look at food the same way again.

Week 10, Day 2

I bought a new pair of jeans today. My other pair had become annoyingly baggy and required far too often that I pull them up to keep them from falling off. Next step is to not have to shop in the fat people's section of the store. I have a ways to go to get there, but six months from now I'll be a different person. And that's why I only bought one pair of jeans today -- I'll slim out of these before they ever wear out. :)

I also finally broke my addiction to cola. It's been awhile since I've had any. But today I got caught at the mall with a sudden asthma episode, and I know a quick jolt of Coke or Pepsi will take the edge off and help the rescue inhaler. Oh my, what a completely awful experience! The taste was horrid, the sweetness was way beyond what I can tolerate now, and the caffeine made me so instantly jittery I thought I'd jump completely out of my skin. I ended up throwing the rest of it away. Ewww. No more cola for me unless I get stuck needing it for asthma again.

Only one more week until we go to Iowa for Thanksgiving...and for me to play with Little Man, of course. I'm going to work extra hard this week to make sure I have the stamina to keep up with this energetic 18-month old.

I had my usual sandwich today and a bowl of cereal. I have a new favorite cereal, but I can't find it everywhere. It's by Cascadian Farm, and it's called Flax Right with pomegranate, cranberry, and raspberry juice clusters. It's organic and has whole grain wheat, rice, corn meal, whole oats, flax seeds, and cane juice instead of other sugars or high fructose corn syrup. The cereal looks like Chex brand, but it's very dense and filling, and I'm really pleased with how tasty it is. I highly recommend it.

Today's Tip:
A reader asked me if I knew of a good calorie counter. I recommend the The CalorieKing Calorie, Fat & Carbohydrate Counter 2010. There's also a calorie counter by Biggest Loser that's a great book, but it's a few years old. Since the Calorie King is updated each year with restaurants as well as grocery store food info, I prefer it. With over 14,000 foods, both brand name and generic, you can't beat it. A great feature is the "book-within-a-book" with a Fast Food and Restaurant Chain section, listing menu items from 200 chains - more than any other counter!

Sliante!

Week 10, Day 1

After 9 weeks, I have hit a 22 pound loss. That's about 20 percent of my total goal. I have a long way to go, but somehow hitting this mark makes me really believe rest of it is possible. My sub-goal now is to drop another 10 pounds by Christmas.

My appetite is still down with this stupid cold I can't seem to get rid of. But I have managed to eat over the course of the day a footlong from Subway -- turkey breast, ham, green peppers, tomatoes, and lettuce. 600 calories. And a cookie because I've been a good girl.

Today's Tip:
Eat This, Not That on the Men's Health website as a slideshow of the 39 Healthiest Foods in America. You can get to it here: Men's Health

Bon apetit!

Week 9, Day 5 and 6

Full blown fever, fatigue, aches, and all kinds of gunk in my head. Ugh. The past couple of days I've been mostly in bed sleeping. I did manage to get in about 30 minutes each day in exercising. A little biking, a little walking, a little weight work with my arms. I've had about 2 liters of water. I managed to keep down a sandwich each day, just to make sure I ate something. And lots of sleep. The good news is that I weighed myself, and I've lost two pounds. The silver lining.

Today's Tip:
I saw on one of my water bottles something really encouraging for those of us who are soda pop addicts. A 12 ounce sugared beverage ... pop, fruit juice, whatever...has about 140 calories. Replacing one sugared drink a day with water, and you've trimmed over 50,000 calories a year from your diet. I did the math for a 20 ounce bottle of Sprite, and the figures are even more stunning. A 20 ounce bottle has 240 calories. Removing one bottle of Sprite (or similar soda pop) a day from your diet saves you over 87,000 calories a year. That's like 25 pounds GONE! Amazing!

Now I'm going back to bed. I'm such a wimp. ::sigh::

Week 9, Day 4

Okay, I'm really not happy with Mother Nature right now. I don't know why in the middle of November my allergies are still going nuts. And after today, I'm not even sure anymore it's just allergies. I got incredibly tired this afternoon and took a nap. When I woke up, I had a fever. Not a terrible one, but enough to make me feel crappy. Body aches, headache, fatigue. Ugh.

Here's what I've been doing the past couple of weeks to fight it: 2 capsules of echinacea-goldenseal, 2000mg of vitamin C, 2000mg of garlic (odorless, of course), and a multivitamin. Plus, of course, I've been drinking loads of water (Mom taught me well). If anyone knows of anything else to make this crap go away, please let me know. I don't want to cover it, I want it gone.

In all the time I've watched the Biggest Loser show, I've never seen any advice about how to keep the fitness regimen going when a cold or the flu hits. I didn't do any exercising today except about 15 minutes of arm stuff with weights before I got up from my nap. I don't have a lot to burn off, though, because I've only had a sandwich to eat today. I wouldn't have eaten that, but I need food when I take my vitamins. No appetite, though. None. The only benefit I can see to all this cold or flu or whatever, I hope, is that my stomach will shrink and in the long run I won't crave as much to eat.

Today's Tip:
This is from the book The Biggest Loser Fitness Program, page 99. "There is nothing you cannot achieve if you put your mind to it, and this is certainly true when you think about your own body. Before long, you'll create the results you are looking for. You are in charge of your fitness destiny."

URGENT NEWS

Looking for a ONCE IN A LIFETIME opportunity? Liz Young, one of the contestants on the Biggest Loser, asked me to post this about a casting call for a new weight loss show (not Biggest Loser -- this one is on ABC). They're coming THIS SATURDAY to Nashville. If you're within driving distance of Nashville, Tennessee, or if you know someone who is, don't miss this! Liz says she can get VIP passes for you, too. Please help me spread the word!!

SAT. NOV 14th

Casting Call for Weight Loss Show
Buffalo Billiards
154 2nd Ave. N.
Nash. TN. 37201
10:00 AM-4:00 PM

Week 9, Day 3

I was a good girl today. It's early in the evening, so I still have time to be a VERY good girl. I am having a salad for dinner, watermelon for dessert, and yogurt for a bedtime snack. I've walked for 45 minutes. And I am going to put in another 30 minutes or so doing miscellaneous exercises this evening. WooHoooo!

Today's Tip:
This is something from the book The Biggest Loser Success Secrets (don't forget, it's on sale for only $6.98 at Barnes and Noble!). Jenn Widder is from season five of the show, and she has this advice, "Eating too fast causes you to eat more. I've learned to eat more slowly and drink water with my meals, so that the feeling of satisfaction will register better." Thanks, Jenn! I had heard, too, (and I can't remember where) that sometimes we eat so fast that we don't ever savor the flavor. We eat so quickly that we hardly even realize we've eaten! In addition to overeating, eating too fast leads to digestive issues. I've made real efforts to try to slow down and appreciate the feel of the food in my mouth, both the flavors and textures, and to make sure it's all really chewed thoroughly before swallowing. Which I intend to go do now ... bon apetit!

Week 9, Day 2, Part 2

What a great day! I felt so energized all day after last night's Biggest Loser episode and with all the great support I've gotten this past week! I'm still huge, but I'm beginning to feel like a skinny woman, like a butterfly emerging slowly from a fat cocoon. I don't know how to explain it better. I didn't feel this way the last time I lost weight, and I think that's why I put some of it back on. Back then, I still felt like a fat person on their way to being thin. I "owned" the fat because it was a part of me. But this time I feel like a skinny person. That's not to say I feel skinny. Quite the contrary. Of course, I'm still very overweight! But I am feeling the presence of a new me underneath the fat. Almost like the fat doesn't even belong to me anymore, and I'm just trying really hard to get rid of the nasty stuff.

I've worked hard today -- hard for me. I spent 15 minutes doing arm work, 10 minutes doing calf raises, and 45 minutes walking. I'm still feeling the effects of this cold or allergies (I think it's actually allergies since it's stuck with me so long), so my breathing is still labored. But that just means I had to stop a couple of times when I walked so I could catch my breath. I'm not sure, but I can't help but think that losing weight will help my asthma. Surely these past few years of my asthma getting worse and worse can't all be part of the aging process. I never had to go to the hospital with it until I got fat. We'll see...but I'm hopeful!

Adam and I went to Jason's Deli tonight. I had a tuna salad sandwich with lettuce, six baked chips, and a small ice milk/cream cone. I was glad the tuna salad seemed to have only a teeny bit of mayo on it...if any, and just a few egg bits. I would have like a bit of celery in it, too. But I can add that when I make it at home. And I was a good girl...even though it was on multi-grain bread, I took the tops off and only ate the bottom slice. The ice cream cone is made with ice milk, so it had fewer calories. But it was still too much. I was way too full when dinner was over. So next time, new rule -- no desserts AT ALL when we eat out. If I need something sweet-tasting, I'll have yogurt at home. :)

Today's Tip:
We also went to Barnes and Noble this evening. And I saw in their bargain section some of the Biggest Loser books. All of them only $6.98! I got The Biggest Loser Success Secrets. Wow! VERY amazing book! I bought an extra copy for my sister for Christmas. When I got home, I could hardly put the thing down long enough to post this! If you can get a copy, you'll love it. Either way, I'll post some of the wisdom from it in coming days here in the Today's Tip section of each day's post. :)

I hope your day was great! And if you're a veteran, I hope your day was extra-special!

Week 9, Day 2 Part 1

I'm going to write another entry this evening after I've gotten a little bit more accomplished today, but I had to share this with you. In one of the earliest posts here on A New Suit, right after the first episode of the Biggest Loser, I was trying to figure out who I was going to root for this season. I mentioned Liz, the 49 year old grandma, because that's what I am too and she was starting out at about the same weight as I am. Well, I got the sweetest note from Liz today. As many fans as she has and as busy as I'm sure she is with the finale of the show coming up in just a few weeks, I was touched that she would take the time to share this-- "As I have found out , That is really what the show is all about....paying it forward.....I have done it now I need to find a way to help others......YOU CAN DO IT". My friends make me cry tears of gratitude nearly every day, but I also find it quite remarkable when a stranger reaches out. Thanks, Liz! And thanks to each one of my peeps who is lifting me up and moving me forward in the journey!

Week 9, Day 1

Ha! 'Bout time I get off that stinkin' plateau! Tonight I am three pounds away from a 20 pound loss. Not quite the big numbers the folks on the Biggest Loser show have gotten, but I'm not spending 6 hours a day in the gym. I'm going to work really hard this week and see if I can get those three pounds gone and actually hit the 20 pound mark. Then I'm aiming for an extra 10 pounds before Christmas.

Tonight's tip:
Actually a bit of inspiration from Shay Sorrells, a contestant on the show..."You can get your life back. You can live instead of die." Great words. Wise words. She came to the Biggest Loser ranch weighing 476 pounds. Tonight, after only nine weeks, she left the ranch weighing 376 pounds. Danny Cahill, another of the contestants, has been talking the past couple of weeks about getting his old self back, too, finding his fire again. And that's what is needed -- making the choice to live and finding the fire that propels us forward.

Let's see...two chicken and fat-free cheese sandwiches and a chicken taco with lettuce and a few cheese sprinkles. I think I'll have a yogurt later on. Exercise...about 30 minutes of walking and 20 minutes on my bike.

Week 8, Day 7

A wise friend of mine suggested that once in awhile I should get myself a treat for the hard work I'm putting in on this weight loss journey. I was walking around at the mall with Adam tonight and came across something I really liked, so I took the advice of my friend and splurged a bit. And it's sole purpose is to make me a bit prettier.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a girlie-girl. Never have been, and most likely never will be. I am, however, a sucker for a good salesperson. A very sweet woman approached me from one of those kiosks the malls get so many of around the holidays. She asked me a simple question about whether or not I ever get my nails done. About 15 minutes later I walked away with a collection of nail care products. Why? Because the demo she did on my nails made me feel completely pretty.

All that said, if you ever encountered a similar salesperson selling the same products at your mall, fear not. I did NOT spend the $80 originally quoted for this miracle nail care collection. No sirree. I kept saying no until the price came down to $30, then came home and found it on Amazon for $25. Even though I paid a tad bit more at the mall, I'm glad I bought it there instead of Amazon. I really liked the salesperson.

So why am I sharing all this here? Because 1) I think it truly is important to celebrate along the way when doing something as difficult as losing weight, and 2) I just feel so good about taking care of myself -- even if it is just my nails. I thought about it and it's been years since I bothered taking care of my nails beyond just trimming them. Not a big deal, except I think that's just a symptom of my generally not taking care of ANY part of me. Ergo, weight gain. But ... those days are gone, and a whole new me is emerging. :)

I ate a chicken and cheese sandwich, an incredibly small burger, and I'll have a yogurt later on. I did some walking with Adam and will do some weight work on my arms. Then it's off to bed -- either I still have a cold or my allergies are running rampant, I can't tell which. Either way, I need rest!

Week 8, Day 6

I think it's really important that anyone on a diet have good resources for information and encouragement. So I thought I would take this opportunity to share some of the resources I find useful.

ONLINE:
I'm a huge fan of Health.com. Their "mind over fatter" section is particularly helpful, but the whole site has great information, diet tips, success stories, and so much more.

Here is a great website for calculating calorie burn during exercise and daily activities: http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc/">Health Status.com It lets you calculate them on a per-minute basis and enter times for several activities before submitting. So, for instance, let's say you did an hour of leaf raking, a half hour of watching television, fifteen minutes talking on the phone, fifteen minutes washing dishes, ten minutes showering, and a half hour of housework. You type in the various times spent next to the appropriate activity, put your weight in the appropriate field, and hit "submit". It calculates that you burned 899 calories. There are a lot of ads on the site, though. Just ignore the ads, freebies, and "invitations".

I get a lot of good stuff from the MSN.com weight loss section. They have weight loss tools, videos, daily tips, workouts, and a lot more. Plus, it's all an easy click away from other nutrition and wellness information on the site.

Nubella has a great website and a good newsletter. Their site has articles like "3 Fabulous Foods for Weight Loss", "Top Cereals You Should and Shouldn't Eat", and "6 Drinks That Can Destroy Your Diet". I've gotten their newsletter for a couple of years now and find it very helpful.


BOOKS
My two favorite books, ones I consider essential on this journey, are both from the Biggest Loser. The Biggest Loser Fitness Program is a great all-'round starter book that has fitness tips from the trainers and past contestants, recipes, and a boatload of exercises that ANY person at any level of fitness can do. Some of the exercises can be done anywhere, so even people who spend their days at a desk job can do some exercises on breaks and lunch hour. The other book is The Biggest Loser Cookbook. I have a lot of cookbooks, but this one I feel is "safe". None of the recipes is very complicated, but somehow they taste like they ought to be.

Both of these books are listed here on the left sidebar. I buy a lot from Amazon, especially around Christmas time. They seem to have nearly everything! And I find that their books are nearly always less expensive than Barnes and Noble or Borders. In the interest of full disclosure, I will make a small commission off any purchase you make from Amazon after clicking on a link, whether or not you buy these books. Adam needs a car and wants very much to go to culinary school. Any commissions I make will go to his school fund. If you would like to help, please think of me each time you want to purchase something from Amazon and enter their site via the links here.

One of the readers of A New Suit recommended "You Can't Make Me Angry", by Dr. Paul O. She says it deals with co-dependence and addiction, which of course is often at the root of overeating and wrong-eating. I haven't read it yet, but I look forward to it.

YOUR TURN
So what resources do YOU have that you find most helpful? Share them with me either here or on my Facebook wall, and I'll pass them along here in a later post.


And now for the daily log: two chicken and fat-free cheese sandwiches, a plate of seasoned veggies, a cup of yogurt, and an ice cream sandwich by The Skinny Cow. My back hurts, so I didn't do any walking or biking. But I did a lot of weight work with my arms. Now...on to tomorrow!

Week 8, Day 5

I've spent several hours today trying to sort out my feelings and put together what I want to say. The past 24 hours have brought up some very painful memories and some very happy moments. And I'm having a hard time knowing what to do with it all. I wonder, too, if other people ever feel the way I do.

The honest truth is that I've spent most of my life feeling less than worthy to be here. I can pretty well pinpoint when it began. At seven years old, I was diagnosed with scoliosis and fitted for a huge, clumsy steel and leather back brace that made me look like Frankenstein's daughter and cost my parents a fortune. When I was nine years old my grandmother's husband, Dean, began to molest me. Somehow he convinced me I was a bad person and would be in trouble if anyone ever found out. When my dad walked in on what was happening, he spanked me. Dean was right. Clearly, I was a bad girl. When I was twelve, my brother Bill died. This was before things like grief counseling, so our family dealt with it by never talking about our feelings. Bill was elevated to a position in our collective memory--at least in my parent's memories-- as nearly a diety. And I could never measure up. Never smart enough. Never as pretty as my older sister. Never capable enough to help in the family business. Never well enough behaved to be any comfort. Handicapped and a molested bad girl, I wished to God I had been the one taken instead of Bill.

And those are the feelings that went with me into my adulthood. Treated badly by the men I loved, scared every day that what I was doing wasn't right enough or good enough, and certain that if my friends ever knew the true me, they would be disgusted. And the sad part is that a lot of that I still have inside me.

I don't know how much all this plays into my being fat. I feel ashamed that I let myself get this way. But I don't know which came first, the fat or the shame. Did I do this to myself on purpose but subconsciously? Perhaps. Being on prednisone for years certainly helped pack on the pounds, though. The intensity of raising two boys on my own, along with Adam's medical care, added to some stress-induced chocolate binges without having time or energy to work any of it off. But on the other hand, those were my strongest days. I was a warrior, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. It wasn't until I had no one to take care of but myself that I got really huge. I remember months of not being able to function. I've had days when I wanted to leave this earth. I've been in the hospital with health issues. I've lost two jobs since we moved to Omaha. And I haven't had a date in 14 years. Who wants to be around a fat, middle-aged, unemployed woman when there are pretty, skinny, capable women out there?

On the other hand, the response I've gotten since beginning this blog has been tremendous. Friends I went to high school with, friends I had in Maryland, friends I've met here in Omaha -- all of them have been so kind and encouraging. They see what I look like as a fat person. Many of them know the worst about me and have for years. And yet somehow they love me just the way I am today. They believe in me. They want me in their lives. Can you imagine that?

It was yesterday's overwhelming comments about November 6th Day that stopped me in my tracks and left me really thinking today. I don't deserve any of it. Really I don't. I look in the mirror and I still see an unworthy person. But I looked at my resume today, and I know I am a competent person. I've had two books published. I've written tons of articles. I get awesome results for my clients. I've been on boards of directors and have run a non-profit organization. I've spoken at National Children's Hospital and at press conferences for Senators Kennedy and Grassley. I am a competent, accomplished professional. But...at work no one has to see inside me. No one has to know the scared, handicapped, bad little girl who still lives inside.

So where does all this leave me with my weight loss hopes and goals? The bottom line is I think I might be okay. I think there are people who care about me so much that they would feel sad if I fatted myself to death. I think maybe it's okay for me to take care of me with the same fierceness I had when I took care of my kids. I think maybe I'm far from perfect, but I'm still worth the effort. I think I'm going to keep trying.

And I think I'm the most blessed person ever to have such wonderful people in my life.

Week 8, Day 4

Did you ever have an ordinary day in your life so beautiful and so perfect that you just had to celebrate? Welcome to November 6th Day.

Here's the story:
Ten years ago my son Adam was in the middle of some heavy-duty medical issues (read more about it at http://mysite.verizon.net/pffdvsg1/req-bestanswr.htm). It was painful and intense, far beyond what a 10 year old ought to have to endure. But on November 6 --a sunny, beautiful, cool day -- as we were driving to work (I had a job where I could have my homeschooled kids with me), Adam said out of the blue, "We ought to have a celebration today!" Focused on work and all I needed to accomplish, I was a naysayer and explained that we had just gotten done with Halloween and Thanksgiving was coming up. So clearly this wasn't a good day for a celebration. Besides, what would we celebrate? Adam thought for a moment and said, "I dunno, Mom. Just because." He thought a bit more and said, "It's a pretty day and I don't hurt. We can celebrate that!" In the usual rain-on-the-parade mother response, I told him "we'll see", and re-focused on getting on with the day's tasks.

But I had a hard time staying focused through the day. Adam's words kept popping into my head. He had been through so much pain and so much work to gain an amazing 6-1/2 inches in his once-short thigh bone. Months of daily painful therapy and turning the bolts on the scaffolding on his leg. But for a few weeks the turning had stopped and we were in the waiting stage to allow the new bone to consolidate. And today was the first day in months the kid was without pain. Why not celebrate? I felt really guilty for not saying yes immediately. It was such an innocent request. But how on earth could I fit it into an already packed day? Work until late, then an evening meeting to attend. What could we possibly do at the end of the day that would even qualify as a celebration? Would we need to invite people? Did we need to do gifts? What about decorations? It just didn't seem possible.

Then it hit me. I knew exactly what to do! I dropped the kids off at home after work and headed off to the evening meeting. When I finally got home, the boys were playing a game. It seemed like they hardly noticed my arrival. Then they saw the bags in my hand and the smile on my face. We sat on the living room floor as I explained about our new celebration. The bags were filled with all kinds of snacks and junk food, fun stuff that normally would be off-limits. Pretzels, ice cream bars, and a bunch of stuff I can't even remember anymore. And we talked about what made us happy. Daniel, Adam's older brother, had the idea that we should look at the food packages and bags for elevens and sixes ('cuz November is the eleventh month) -- he said it would be a "sign" that this holiday was good. We got goofy about it and had to stretch pretty far sometimes to come up with sixes and elevens. Twenty-four ounces was acceptable, for instance, because two and four total six. Nine grams of sodium and two grams of fiber were fine because nine and two equal eleven. The package of six ice cream bars was magical. The more we stretched to make it all "fit", the more we laughed. And as we drank from the six-pack of soda --also magical because of the six, we toasted to a happy November 6th Day. Just that simple. No need for decorations. No need for gifts. No need for elaborate plans or guests. Only a quiet, albeit goofy, celebration of happiness.

In the ten years since that first November 6th Day we have not always been together. But we three have always celebrated. We celebrate all we went through together out in Maryland. We celebrate the things that make us happy. We celebrate goofiness. We celebrate the special relationship the three of us have. And we celebrate just because another November 6th has arrived.

Healthier Holiday Today
Today our November 6th Day is taking on an added dimension. I'm making an attempt to re-define what makes me happy. Gone are the sodas. Water is my drink of choice now. A box of Ho-hos is no longer the be-all and end-all of ultimate taste treats. A cup of low-fat frozen yogurt is a great substitute. A plateful of cheese ravioli drenched in alfredo sauce is not the linchpin of an awesome meal. Instead a handful of whole wheat pasta mixed in with a plateful of vegetables seasoned with Old Bay is the new gold-standard. And a bag of pretzels, no matter how many elevens or sixes on the bag, doesn't actually have to be a part of the celebration. A whole wheat toasted English muffin has a great crunch factor with a good amount of fiber, and adding a thin smear of all-fruit spread makes it extra yummy. So this year, the 10th anniversary of the creation of our new family holiday, my November 6th Day is not only about honoring our past celebrations, but also about the exciting future ahead. A healthy future. A future filled with happiness and more beautiful days so perfect you just can't help but celebrate.

Dieting is a reason to celebrate. New beginnings and new hope are a reason to party. Taking charge of your life and your health is a reason to be delighted. No matter what day on the calendar, I encourage YOU to be happy and celebrate...just because!

Today's Tip:
Here's a great article about Danny Cahill, one of the contestants on the Biggest Loser: Danny Cahill is Feeling Like a Champ I especially like what he said about feeling like a champion again. My kids say when I was younger and battled for Adam's medical care, I was a warrior, fierce and strong. I want that back. I want to be healthy and strong again. When I saw Danny on Biggest Loser talking about getting his fire back, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

And...Happy November 6th Day, everyone!