Mangia, Mangia! Week 35, Day 3

My friend Susan suggested that perhaps the reason I haven't been losing weight, in spite of the fact that I am eating very little yet maintaining a moderate activity level, is because... I'm eating very little. Haha...sweet irony. I had heard of this kind of thing before, but somehow in the chaos of the past few months this fact bypassed the little hamsters operating the master controls in my head. Maybe because it makes no sense that my body would actually be dumb enough to go into starvation mode when I still have so much lard left to burn. Silly hamsters. So I need to eat MORE calories in order to burn the EXTRA calories being stored as fat? Okay...whatever. I'm not hungry these days and forget to eat, we haven't had money for groceries anyway, but if I need to eat in order to drop the fat, then so be it. I'll simply program reminders into my cellphone. Plus, next week when I begin my new doofus job, I'll eat before I go to work and again on break, so that will help. Yayee for eating.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning to go talk to the community college people, and I filled out my application for a Pell grant today. Maybe by this time tomorrow I'll be a student again, another step on the way to Normal. (Yes, I have begun to capitalize the word "normal". It has developed its own persona now. It deserves an upper case N.)

Monday the doofus job begins, but today we had a mini-orientation, complete with I-9's and W-4's. (Lord, help me to be grateful for ANY job after so long without one and when there are so many who still don't have one....I need to work on gratitude.) And three flights of stairs up and down since the elevator was not working. And a ton of walking since the training room was across the very large building. We also learned that on Monday we get a tour of the facility. They said the tour will encompass about 2 miles of walking, so we should bring our exercise shoes. Oh boy. Two miles. Surely they have no idea what fear that puts into the heart of this asthmatic obese woman. If I don't keel over dead, I'll have something to report here Monday night after work (I get off at 9:00). Again, another reason why I'm so very grateful I spent these last several months working on my fitness. Today I did fairly well and kept up with the group. Wish me luck on Monday. And if you have not yet begun your own fitness journey, please please please begin NOW -- trust me, you'll be glad you did.

Today's Tip:
Did you know that a small scoop of tuna salad will help quell a belly ache, pineapple and papaya will help reduce post-workout pain, and dark chocolate helps with sunburn? MSN Health channel has a brief but very interesting article about foods that help fight pain. The article is located here>>> http://health.msn.com/health-topics/pain-management/fibromyalgia/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100256168

Circling Back, Week 35, Day 2

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Or at least they seem to circle back to a very similar place. Fourteen years ago today my two sons and I arrived in Baltimore. No job. No place to live. Just a firm belief that we had arrived where we were supposed to be. Even then, I cried fear-filled tears as we hit the city limits. So much pain, struggle, and uncertainty lay ahead as we fought to save, reconstruct, and lengthen Adam's leg. Now here I am fourteen years later, no more certain of my future, far worse off financially, and officially making my way down the twilight side of the mountain. The good news is that instead of 100 pounds heavier, I am only 20 pounds heavier than when we arrived in Baltimore. Now all I've got to do is find a way to pick up the rest of the pieces of my life that somehow fell apart last year. I've made my way through the dark before - I did it fourteen years ago. Now I've just got to do it again.

I mentioned yesterday about the possibility of my going to ITT Tech. I spoke to their financial aid department today. After the massive wave of nausea passed, I determined that it is definitely not the school for me. There is no way I'm going to sign papers for a $33,000 student loan for an associates degree from a tech school. Soooo...I have an appointment set up for Friday to speak to an advisor at our local community college. Maybe not the prestige I seek, but considering I'm looking at IT, it's not so much the degree as the certifications I'll be getting on the side anyway. And from what I can see on their website, a Pell grant will take care of everything and I won't have to get a huge loan. So it should all work out. At least maybe this option won't make me want to puke. Think good thoughts for me. These decisions all seemed so much easier to make when I was younger! Oddly, fourteen years ago, I was taking college courses too. Again...that whole circling back thing.

I walked a bit more last night. We had to go out to Walmart and buy a new headlight to install on our new poor little adopted car. The automotive department is in the far back corner. And parking was pretty far away. So a good chunk of walking on top of what I had done earlier. Not much today, though. It's been raining all day, and there has been far too much to do. I have done some leg lifts, though, and some work on my arms with weights. So it hasn't been a total loss.

I'm still not eating much. I would think no more than I've been eating, the weight would have been dropping off me. But it has tenaciously held on. That's okay. I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing and trust that when the stress is gone, the weight will come off eventually. I'm exercising, I'm not eating excessively. So sooner or later the weight has to disappear.

Today's Tip:
I read in Prevention.com today that yogurt helps create an unfriendly environment in the mouth for bad bacteria. So it helps fight gum disease and bad breath. And it helps with weight loss! Bonus!

Not So Elementary, Watson, Week 35, Day 1

Where is Inspector Gadget when you need him? Or maybe Sherlock Holmes? It is certainly a mystery. No weight loss for about a month, and I can't figure out why. In the absence of a famed detective, I'm going to chalk it up to stress. I'm not eating more than about 300 calories a day, so it can't be that I'm overeating. And I'm keeping my activity level fairly high, so that's not it either. It certainly is frustrating!

Still searching for my new normal, I have spent the past several days looking into schools. And today I applied for admission at ITT Tech. I go talk to their financial aid office tomorrow. Until I get their verdict, I don't know if school is even a possibility. If it is, then I'm hoping that by this time next year my life, my income, and my hope for the future will be vastly different. If I keep on track for my weight loss, my body will be too. Keep moving forward.

As of this afternoon, I have a car in my name again. It was my niece's son's car. It has multiple dents and a lot of miles on it. Not a pretty car by any stretch of the imagination. But it runs and it cost what we could afford. I'm grateful to have it! Life is beginning to look better. I want to walk, but it's different when it's a choice for fitness rather than a requirement because of a lack of wheels!

Today's Tip:
It's nearly time for graduation parties to begin. And some of them will have "forbidden" goodies...you know, all that sweet stuff that looks pretty and tastes so good, but has soooo many calories and is so hard to resist. Never fear! Your willpower will get a huge boost if you plan ahead. Eat something healthy and filling before you go to the party, and it will be so much easier to say no to the siren call of the snack table. Even something simple like a piece of fruit and a bit of cheese will do the trick.

Welcome to Normal, Week 34, Day 6

Happy Mother's Day, everyone! Mine has been quiet. I stepped on the scales today and see that I weigh the same as I did a month ago. No change up or down. After a few months of loads of stress, I guess not going up is a triumph. I used to deal with stress by eating fistfuls of chocolate, so I'm ahead of the game these days.

The blister on my foot from walking so much the other day has finally healed. I think I'll go for a walk later on. I need it after a couple of days of not walking. I need to eat better, too. The past week or so I haven' been eating much. Some crackers and a cup of yogurt or some noodles each day. Have missed my veggies and fruit. But I haven't really felt like eating. I need to make sure I don't let myself get sick. It surprises me, though, that the weight hasn't dropped considering how little I've been eating. Oh well. It will happen.

I remember awhile back talking about how after taking care of my parents I would need to come home and find a new "normal". With my car blowing up, a not-so-perfect job coming up, I've added the decision to change careers. I'm on track to pursue a career in IT, possibly as either as a general technician or a network administrator. First thing is to study for my A+ certificate, and I've already begun studying. Oh, and let's not forget that since we're possibly renting out my bedroom, I'll be living in the basement. A typical geek -- living in the basement doing computer stuff. Not quite what I had envisioned for my new "normal". It's kind of surreal, like I'm standing back watching someone else's life play out. And it's almost amusing. We'll see where all of this goes. In the meantime, I need to find a place that sells pocket protectors -- you know, to complete the "look" to go with my new life.

I have a lead on a car that we can afford. It's not a great one, has 146,000 miles on it. But maybe we won't be on foot much longer and will have a car before the less-than-wonderful temp job starts next Monday. It's a Mitsubishi. I learned today that they're made in Normal, IL. That fact alone makes me feel like we were meant to have this car. It also makes me think that God has a quirky sense of humor. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Adam's birthday is coming up the end of May. I'd like to hit a 100 pound loss by then. I began this blog at 259 pounds, but I actually began losing weight at 279. Since my weight is standing still right now, I don't know if I can make it to my 100 pound loss goal by May 31, but I'd like to try. And if I don't make it by then, I'll aim for July 4. Appropriate marker -- liberate myself from 100 pounds by Independence Day. :)

Today's Tip:
MSN Health has a list of 7 Foods That Should Never Cross Your Lips. I was really surprised by some of them, but the reasons they listed made sense. Here's my shortened version. You can read the whole thing at: http://health.msn.com/nutrition/summers-smartest-choices/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100246775&page=1

1) Microwave popcorn. The bag has toxic components that leach into the popcorn. Better to pop your corn in a skillet.
2) Nonorganic potatoes. Root veggies absorb herbicides, fungicides, and pesticides that are in the soil and are treated with these chemicals again after their picked. Washing won't remove these toxins, either. Better to spend just a bit more and get organic.
3) Farmed salmon. Massive toxins in the water to keep the salmon alive are the problem. If it says "fresh Atlantic", it's farmed. Canned salmon is most likely wild, can be found for as little as $3 a can, and is a much better choice.
4) Milk produced with hormones. Farmers treated their dairy cows with recombinant bovine growth hormone (rbgh) to boost production. Bad stuff. Watch your labels and buy milk that doesn't have rbgh. Walmart's Great Value milk is an example of a brand that doesn't have hormones.
5) Apples. An apple a day might have kept the doctor away back in the old days, but not so much anymore since they're heavily sprayed repeatedly with pesticides that don't wash off. Peeling them will help some, but some people still aren't convinced this is enough and recommend only organic.
6) Canned tomatoes. The acid in the tomatoes causes toxins in the can lining to leach into the food. A safer choice is tomatoes in glass jars.
7) Corn-fed beef. Cows aren't mean to eat corn. They were designed to eat grass. Eating corn and chicken byproducts (like chicken manure) makes them sick, requires antibiotics, and reduces the nutritive value of the meat we eat. Better to spend a bit more and buy grass-fed beef. You'll actually be buying more nutrition and better quality nutrition for your money.