Week 23, Day 4

I had my last "normal" trip home yesterday before Dad's surgery. It's the last time life will be as it is now before it takes a paradigm shift one way or another. Either he will be gone or he will be well and the aneurysm dragon that has terrorized us for a decade will be vanquished. No one talked about the surgery. We talked a bit about transportation, just to make sure we knew who was driving the folks over to Omaha and who was sleeping at whose house. Mom and Dad will be staying with me a couple of days after he's dismissed from the hospital. He said he will be eager to get home, though, and back to normal life. And then he added, "But if things go badly, of course, I won't really care anymore." And then he chuckled and there was a weird silence before the conversation began moving along again, this time about a different topic. Dad mentioned to mom that their appointment with the lawyer is this coming Wednesday. I asked if something was wrong, and they said it was to update their wills. But they said it not so much in the context of the surgery -- more like "Oh and your mother has a hair appointment the next day, too." So...I guess Mom and Dad are okay with everything. And that, of course, is what I have wanted. I just wasn't expecting it. Not from them. They are the ones who always see that the sky is falling, but they're sure it's falling directly on them and infused with the latest, most deadly strain of swine flu. This is much better.

One of the most normal and joyous parts of the visit involved Little Man. When Wifey brought him upstairs to visit me, his face lit up with a huge smile, he toddled over to me with what passes for his best version of running, and raised his arms for me to lift him up into my lap. This was the FIRST TIME. Oh yeah, I love my Little Man! In previous visits he has smiled when he sees me, and he has come over to me. But this is the first time he has made efforts to climb up into my lap. We spent hours playing, chasing each other, and yes, I still am able to bounce him up in the air over my head. Perhaps not what most people think of when they hear the word "workout", but let's just say I slept well last night. :)

Mom still doesn't get that I'm on a diet. She had cheesecake on the table for dessert last night. Bless her heart, she means well. I had a small inch-by-inch piece, and it seemed to make her happy that I didn't turn her down. I love her for wanting to spoil me. But when I go stay with them after Dad's surgery, I will have to be very diligent in watching my calories.

Today's Tip:
Jillian Michaels, one of the trainers on the Biggest Loser show, shared this on her Facebook page. She says it is, "An interesting overview of healthy food or lack thereof in your area. Use this as a resource tool to affect positive change!" Check it out by clicking here>> Your Food Environment Atlas or by cutting and pasting this link into your browser>> http://www.ers.usda.gov/FoodAtlas/

Week 23, Day 2

Yesterday I was down a pound from last week. Today I'm up two. And depressed about it. I guess that's why I only weigh once a week. I feel all mushy and flabby and my clothes don't fit right. Both my body and my clothes are too baggy in some places and tight in others. Not attractive! And more than a little frustrating. I'll be glad when I make more progress. I figure in another month I'll need to go shopping again. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

I did 50 leg lifts today and walked 3/4 mile at the store when I went out to do the grocery shopping. Tonight I'll put in some time on the bike and do some weight work on my arms. I've got a week and a half before Dad's surgery and a month and a half before my birthday, so I need to stay diligent.

Food has been okay today. We went to Arby's for lunch. I had a gyro -- 420 calories, and the most insipid, nasty side salad, which would have been 70 calories if I had finished it. I'll have some applesauce for dinner, which should be about another 100 calories.

Today's Tip:
If you had to choose between a cheeseburger, pizza, or a salad, you would think the salad would be the healthiest choice, right? Well, not necessarily. One of the salads at Chevy's TexMex, for instance, has nearly a whole day's calories and as much fat as 19 Twinkies. It weighs in with a whopping 2,480 mg of sodium, too. Eat This, Not That has a guide that will help you understand some of the pitfalls and gives some easy tips for making better choices. Check it out at>> 15 Atrocious Salads

Week 23, Day 1

I ate something interesting today, but it disturbs me that I can't find the calorie count for it. Taco Bell here in Omaha has a Mexican Cheesesteak. From what I can find on the internet, I gather it's not available in all areas yet. I'm guessing that's why it's not listed on the Taco Bell website. This tasty item features sauteed green peppers, sauteed red peppers, sauteed onions, grilled steak and melted cheese all inside warm flatbread. All things considered, I think the caloric content must be less than most fast food. Perhaps around 500 calories?. (And kudos to Taco Bell for having some reasonably healthy items on their menu. They have a ways to go, but it's not a bad choice if you're in a hurry.) But still -- together with the 400 calorie smoothie I got at a nearby coffeehouse, I'm at around 900 for that one meal. It was incredibly filling, so much that I don't even want anything for dinner. And I ate just a half a sandwich for breakfast. Still, I wish Taco Bell would man up and put the nutrition info on their website for ALL their food offerings, not just some.

While I enjoye lunch at Taco Bell (mostly because it was where Adam wanted to go, and I love spending time with him), it did remind me that I like eating at home a lot more. I didn't used to. Eating out was so much easier. But there are also a lot of drawbacks. It's much more expensive than eating at home. Since I've gotten really picky about the groceries I buy, I think it's fair to say the food I prepare at home is more wholesome than restaurant food. And it's much easier to control the calories at home.

Biggest Loser isn't on tonight because of the Olympics. And I'm really sleepy and wanting a nap. So I don't know if I'm going to get my usual Tuesday evening exercising in. I've done so little lately. I'll try to do something.... I've only lost one pound this week, so I need to keep working at it. Part of me is overwhelmed by all that needs to be done before Dad's surgery -- and that just makes me sleepy. I need to fight that. Hopefully I'll have a better report tomorrow.

I love all of you who have been so kind to me with your generous words, thoughts, and prayers. I have shared with my family each message, and we are all greatly strengthened and encouraged as we enter this final stretch before March 1. Thank you, and please keep praying!

Today's Tip:
Do you ever wonder which foods are the right ones to choose when trying to eat more healthy? Obviously, fresh spinach is better than frozen creamed spinach, right? But which is better, corn flakes or corn tortilla chips? If you can't have fresh peaches, which canned peaches are best? Prevention magazine has some helpful tips in their feature "23 Ways to Eat Clean". Check it out online here>> http://www.prevention.com/50healthiestfoods/index.html

Week 22, Day 7

Two weeks from today, on March 1, Dad will have his surgery. Am I scared? You betcha. The whole family is. At least I've stopped the spontaneous crying in public. (Except for the heavily bearded man --and yes, I'm sure it was a man--in the skirt and tight sweater and bra, I was the one most likely to be avoided at the mall.) I talked to Dad today, and he sounds as ready as one can be for this kind of thing. He quizzed his doctor, and out of 300 surgeries, the doc has only killed one patient. The national death rate for this kind of operation is 1 in 20, so I guess we're in good hands here. And I can't believe God protected Dad all these years with the aneurysm while we waited for technology to catch up to his needs (Dad has larger than normal arteries that are slightly bent in places, requiring large, flexible stents), only to take him from us now. I know God may, for whatever higher reason, still take Dad home, but right now I have to believe Dad is meant to come through this successfully.

However, just because I don't embarrass myself in public anymore and am trying to stay very positive, I am noticing my body is still exhibiting some signs of stress. My appetite is ranging from nervous eating to no appetite at all. I'm either very fatigued or so full of nervous energy that I can't possibly sit still. Sleeping is a hit and miss kind of thing that seems to be more akin to a magic trick and any kind of regular event. Since I'll be staying with the folks and wielding Mom's wheelchair for a couple of weeks on my own and taking care of whatever household needs there are, I'm working on my strength as much as possible. But man, oh man, I sure have been craving chocolate. That was always my drug of choice during Adam's surgeries and therapy. That's how I started getting fat to begin with 15 years ago. I can't let that happen again! You folks reading this can really help me in the coming weeks -- talk me down! Help me stay away from the bad stuff I KNOW I shouldn't have! Please!!!

Today's Tip:
Ask for help when you need it. There's no reason why you have to make this journey alone. When you have a need, it's NOT a sign of weakness to ask for help. Actually, it's a sign of strength. Let your friends and relatives know what you need for them to do to help. More likely than not, they'll be glad to know and pleased to be a part of your success!

Please pray: My dad is Bill Arnold. His surgery is the morning of March 1. Thank you.

Week 22, Day 6

The best thing about winter is that exercising is a great way to stay warm. It's cold, snowy, and windy outside today, and I haven't minded staying inside and staying active and warm. I'm a grumpy person when it gets hot and humid, so I think as long as it's not icy out, I'm going try to enjoy the rest of winter and the pleasant coolness it brings to working out.

I bought a pair of jeans the other day. It was a size smaller than I had been wearing, and they don't fit right. They're too large in the thighs and a bit snug in the butt and just right around the waist. Clearly, the leg lifts I've been doing are working, but I need to keep working on the huge hiney and massive middle. I was always pear-shaped before, carrying most of my weight in my thighs. Now I'm beginning to look more like an apple. Is it time and age that have changed my contours or simply a matter of a poorly executed exercise plan? I'm not sure. But my next goal is to fit into jeans that don't have a stretchy waistband. That and to be skinny enough that I feel comfortable wearing jeans without a sweater or shirt that goes down far enough to cover my derriere. I know covering it up doesn't make it smaller, but somehow I feel better when it's covered. Sort of like farts -- if the dog is nearby, I can blame the smell on her.

Food today: a bowl of chicken soup for breakfast, the same for lunch, a bowl of applesauce for dinner, and I may have a bowl of veggies later. Exercise today: leg lifts, biking, arm weights-- about an hour so far and will probably have another 45 minutes in before the day is done.

Today's Tip:
Do what works for you. I'm having success being more aware of eating actual "food", watching my portions, cutting out high fructose corn syrup and soda pop, and increasing my exercise. Since September I've gone from 259 to 216. My sister, on the other hand, has taken a different route and has lost 28 pounds in a year and a half. She is using Weight Watchers, and she's happy with it. While it has taken her longer with her way than it has for me with my path, it's working for her and that's what counts the most. With Weight Watchers things like MSG and high fructose corn syrup, etc. are all allowed, and the emphasis is on counting points as determined by Weight Watchers. That would drive me nuts for two reasons: 1) I now know better about what is actually "food", and 2) counting points doesn't give me the freedom I feel I have with the simple thought "How far away is this food from the way God made it?" For my sister that's all too complicated and the point system takes the guesswork out of it. That's okay. She and I are both doing what works for each of us. And you should too. Just do it with commitment, and you will succeed.