Week 10, Day 4 and 5

I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. I'm tired, sore, discouraged, and as hungry as if I hadn't eaten for a month. What's wrong with me? The weather is good enough that I should have gobs of vim and vigor. And yet here I sit...completely inactive.

Yesterday was a mixed bag, and it was so busy I forgot to come here and write a post until it was like 2 o'clock in the morning -- far too late for me to be writing something that should have some kind of coherent thoughts.

Here's the run down on the exercise: I biked for about 20 minutes first thing when I got up, and it felt good. Then I picked up a little around the house. Mid-afternoon we went to run errands at Whole Foods and the mall. I walked around Whole Foods a bit to get some more exercise. Then at the mall I got so tied up in trying to find a parking space that I forgot which store I needed to go to, and I ended up parking at the opposite end from where I needed to be. It's not a huge mall, but for me it was a lot of walking and I was really sore by the time we got back to the car. Then when we got home, I did more picking up around the house and got down on my hands and knees to spot scrub several doggie stains on the carpet. By the time I dropped into bed, I was in pain and exhausted. I'm guessing it was a "good" pain, in that it was evidence that I actually got up and around far more than I've been used to in a long time. But man...it has me stiff, sore, and tired. And, sadly, I haven't done very much today.

I've eaten well both days and was really pleased with the difference at the mall. Fast food places that a few months ago would have tempted me sorely just didn't have any appeal or pull for me at all. Changing my eating patterns, I think, is one of the hardest parts of dieting, and I was pleased to see that I have made some progress in that area. However, today I would kill for a chocolate chip cookie. Or an eclair. Yeah, that's it, I've wanted an eclair for a couple of days. Yogurt will just have to do.

The depressing part of yesterday was when I was sitting for a bit to rest on the way to the store I needed to go to. Across the corridor was a dark glass, and I could see my reflection. I realize maybe it distorted things a bit, but I did NOT like what I saw. I'm losing weight, I'm toning up, but I still look absolutely huge. It was completely disheartening. I know this takes time, but still...I wanted to sit there and cry. I don't FEEL like a fat person. I know I'm fat. But it is still jarring and depressing to have that visual image of the awful truth. It's times like this that it would be so easy to just give up -- it's taking too long, I don't have the patience to wait months and months until my body finally looks like it should. And I hate myself for letting me get to this point. Why did I do it? Why didn't I stop myself a long time ago? Now I'm stuck with this hellish looking body and stuck with pain and stuck with being tired. And I hate it. I guess that's what propels me forward -- it would drive me nuts to think I'd have to stay this way forever. Ugh.

Today's Tip:
As we become "me" focused in the weight loss journey, we have to remember to purposefully reach out to help others (not necessarily weigh loss oriented). Here's an opportunity. A friend of mine asked me to help spread the word about a special promotion that will benefit the March of Dimes. The radio station she works for is helping with this, so I KNOW it's legitimate. It's really easy, too, and it's great fun for the holidays. Plus, you can't beat helping a cause like the March of Dimes! Will you please help spread the word?

Here's the program: Get a text message from Santa for $5.49 on your phone (or your child's phone) and $1 of it goes to the March of Dimes. The top 3 markets also get a nice donation. Here is the link: http://omaha.textsanta.net/ Won't you please take a look and consider this for a kid in your life? And again, please help spread the word so even more money can be raised for the March of Dimes! Thank you!!!!

Week 10, Day 3

Used to be I'd send Adam into a store if he was shopping for something for himself or if there were only one or two things to get. I had neither the energy nor the lung capacity to accompany him. The past couple of days we've gone and run errands the better part of each day, and I've gone with him everywhere. Just one more bit of evidence that I'm making progress.

Did some walking today and some work on my arms. I'm going to get on the bike for a few minutes in a little while. I've had two sandwiches to eat and a small Orange Julius. And loads of water. I've finally gotten to the point where water is really very refreshing and I no longer have to force each glass down or even keep track of them.

Today's Tip:
I read a book today titled In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, by Michael Pollan. Man, this guy is good! It's an easy read but chock full of good information. It will change the way you shop forever, but without any effort. You will simply never look at food the same way again.

Week 10, Day 2

I bought a new pair of jeans today. My other pair had become annoyingly baggy and required far too often that I pull them up to keep them from falling off. Next step is to not have to shop in the fat people's section of the store. I have a ways to go to get there, but six months from now I'll be a different person. And that's why I only bought one pair of jeans today -- I'll slim out of these before they ever wear out. :)

I also finally broke my addiction to cola. It's been awhile since I've had any. But today I got caught at the mall with a sudden asthma episode, and I know a quick jolt of Coke or Pepsi will take the edge off and help the rescue inhaler. Oh my, what a completely awful experience! The taste was horrid, the sweetness was way beyond what I can tolerate now, and the caffeine made me so instantly jittery I thought I'd jump completely out of my skin. I ended up throwing the rest of it away. Ewww. No more cola for me unless I get stuck needing it for asthma again.

Only one more week until we go to Iowa for Thanksgiving...and for me to play with Little Man, of course. I'm going to work extra hard this week to make sure I have the stamina to keep up with this energetic 18-month old.

I had my usual sandwich today and a bowl of cereal. I have a new favorite cereal, but I can't find it everywhere. It's by Cascadian Farm, and it's called Flax Right with pomegranate, cranberry, and raspberry juice clusters. It's organic and has whole grain wheat, rice, corn meal, whole oats, flax seeds, and cane juice instead of other sugars or high fructose corn syrup. The cereal looks like Chex brand, but it's very dense and filling, and I'm really pleased with how tasty it is. I highly recommend it.

Today's Tip:
A reader asked me if I knew of a good calorie counter. I recommend the The CalorieKing Calorie, Fat & Carbohydrate Counter 2010. There's also a calorie counter by Biggest Loser that's a great book, but it's a few years old. Since the Calorie King is updated each year with restaurants as well as grocery store food info, I prefer it. With over 14,000 foods, both brand name and generic, you can't beat it. A great feature is the "book-within-a-book" with a Fast Food and Restaurant Chain section, listing menu items from 200 chains - more than any other counter!

Sliante!

Week 10, Day 1

After 9 weeks, I have hit a 22 pound loss. That's about 20 percent of my total goal. I have a long way to go, but somehow hitting this mark makes me really believe rest of it is possible. My sub-goal now is to drop another 10 pounds by Christmas.

My appetite is still down with this stupid cold I can't seem to get rid of. But I have managed to eat over the course of the day a footlong from Subway -- turkey breast, ham, green peppers, tomatoes, and lettuce. 600 calories. And a cookie because I've been a good girl.

Today's Tip:
Eat This, Not That on the Men's Health website as a slideshow of the 39 Healthiest Foods in America. You can get to it here: Men's Health

Bon apetit!

Week 9, Day 5 and 6

Full blown fever, fatigue, aches, and all kinds of gunk in my head. Ugh. The past couple of days I've been mostly in bed sleeping. I did manage to get in about 30 minutes each day in exercising. A little biking, a little walking, a little weight work with my arms. I've had about 2 liters of water. I managed to keep down a sandwich each day, just to make sure I ate something. And lots of sleep. The good news is that I weighed myself, and I've lost two pounds. The silver lining.

Today's Tip:
I saw on one of my water bottles something really encouraging for those of us who are soda pop addicts. A 12 ounce sugared beverage ... pop, fruit juice, whatever...has about 140 calories. Replacing one sugared drink a day with water, and you've trimmed over 50,000 calories a year from your diet. I did the math for a 20 ounce bottle of Sprite, and the figures are even more stunning. A 20 ounce bottle has 240 calories. Removing one bottle of Sprite (or similar soda pop) a day from your diet saves you over 87,000 calories a year. That's like 25 pounds GONE! Amazing!

Now I'm going back to bed. I'm such a wimp. ::sigh::