I dunno. I keep thinking that those people on Biggest Loser, one by one, will be going home in the coming weeks. And they will face "real" life. People. Restaurants. Stresses. Jobs. All that good stuff. And they will still be expected to continue losing weight until the finale of the show. So....ergo, I should be able to live a fairly normal life and still lose weight. Right? I keep trying to make the right choices. But I don't know if I'm on the right track. I feel bloated and huge. I saw my profile in a store window as I was seated outside on a bench, and I look like a big lumpy ball. And I hurt. I didn't walk very much -- only about an eighth of the mall, but I hurt. So I'm a big lumpy ball with no muscles and no stamina and no breath. Ughhh. I hate myself for letting me get into this shape.
Adam and I went out and did some shopping for my dad today. And Adam needed to get a gift for his sister-in-law's upcoming birthday. Being the dutiful and loving mother-in-law, I already have my gifts for her. (So neener, neener.) Actually, Adam has been sure for several months what he was going to get her, but when he went online to purchase it, they were sold out. Who would have figured "The Pirate's Guide to Parenting" would be so popular?
Between shopping venues, we stopped for lunch / dinner. I had only eaten a banana today, so I was pretty hungry. That explains why HuHot sounded so good. For those who don't know, HuHot is a Mongolian all-you-can-eat restaurant. You gather the ingredients you want, then take it to the grill to be cooked while you wait and watch. Now, I realize that an all-you-can-eat place is probably not the best choice for someone who is 1) on a diet, and 2) bemoaning their lack of progress on said diet. But....I did well. Loads of veggies and only one trip back through the line. I had a few noodles, but way fewer than I usually have. Mostly it was just enough pasta delight to make my craving go away. The rest of the food was a little chicken and a variety of veggies. And then we went to the mall and walked off our sins.
Well...."walked off" to the extent that my blobby body allowed. I really have to work in the coming days to make my legs stronger so I can do more walking. I HAVE to. No options. (Forgot to stop by Target and get a pedometer today. Will try to remember tomorrow.) I only really have tomorrow and Monday before I weigh myself on Tuesday morning. Gotta keep trying. .....
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Week 1, Day 4
No progress on the Grand Plan today. Nasty headache and my back is worse today. Leg lifts and curls before I even left the bedroom, but nothing since and certainly not a little each hour like I had envisioned. Maybe I'll just do what I can each day and call it good. The Grand Plan will come later.
I think I'm doing okay on the food, in spite of my hormones screaming for chocolate and pasta. Hamburger patty, two slices of bacon, some tomato slices, a little bit of lettuce, two slices of whole wheat bread, two cups of yogurt, plenty of water.
Gosh, I hope I can make some headway with the exercise before Tuesday. I don't want my first weigh-in since the beginning to be a failure. I feel kind of defeated today. Really kind of sad, actually. But I don't know if that's because I've done a crappy job of dieting this week so far, or if it's just the hormonal thing. Sometimes being female is just no damn fun. But I can give it another shot tomorrow.
I think tomorrow I'm going to go out and do some walking. Having asthma, I can't walk outside and be in the pollen. But I do fine inside like at the mall or in stores like Target. I did a lot of that last year when I lost so much weight. But I need to get a pedometer so I can keep track when I walk. And if this headache goes away, I won't scream nasty things at the clerk when I buy it. (Just for the record -- I've never actually done that. heheee )
Here's to a better tomorrow...Cheers!
I think I'm doing okay on the food, in spite of my hormones screaming for chocolate and pasta. Hamburger patty, two slices of bacon, some tomato slices, a little bit of lettuce, two slices of whole wheat bread, two cups of yogurt, plenty of water.
Gosh, I hope I can make some headway with the exercise before Tuesday. I don't want my first weigh-in since the beginning to be a failure. I feel kind of defeated today. Really kind of sad, actually. But I don't know if that's because I've done a crappy job of dieting this week so far, or if it's just the hormonal thing. Sometimes being female is just no damn fun. But I can give it another shot tomorrow.
I think tomorrow I'm going to go out and do some walking. Having asthma, I can't walk outside and be in the pollen. But I do fine inside like at the mall or in stores like Target. I did a lot of that last year when I lost so much weight. But I need to get a pedometer so I can keep track when I walk. And if this headache goes away, I won't scream nasty things at the clerk when I buy it. (Just for the record -- I've never actually done that. heheee )
Here's to a better tomorrow...Cheers!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Week 1, Day 3
Kind of an ordinary day. You would think with me being unemployed I would have plenty of time to exercise. I had this Grand Plan to spent 10 minutes every hour doing exercise. Then at the end of the day I would have put in about 2 hours of exercise. But I only spent about 15 minutes on the bike, did some curls, and tried some leg lifts. So much for the Grand Plan.
My eating was strange today. When I first came downstairs, I ate a handful of tiny marshmallows my mother had sent home the last time we went to visit. They taste like her house smells. Don't misunderstand -- her house doesn't smell bad. On the contrary, it smells wonderfully like a powdered and lotioned little old woman. And that's just lovely when you're going home. But that's not the best smell for food. Trust me. For the rest of the day, I just wasn't really very hungry. I had a couple of turkey and cheese (fat-free) sandwiches on whole wheat bread. And I'll probably have a cup of yogurt before bed. Tomorrow I need to make an effort to eat some veggies. And going forward, I need to really focus on getting fruits and veggies into my diet each day. No sense losing weight if I just end up making myself sick!
On the plus side, I got some proposals finished and made headway today on the pro bono work I'm doing for a non-profit. And I spent some time getting back into the attempt to learn how to do Flash on a website. I know it can't possibly be as hard as it seems right now. I'm a smart woman and I have the ability to learn anything. So I just need to get myself past this mental block. However, today it seems impossible. I will just have to console myself with the fact that I have been trying and will continue to try.
And tomorrow I will try again to implement the Grand Plan. If I only do as much as I did today, that won't be terrible. Will it?
My eating was strange today. When I first came downstairs, I ate a handful of tiny marshmallows my mother had sent home the last time we went to visit. They taste like her house smells. Don't misunderstand -- her house doesn't smell bad. On the contrary, it smells wonderfully like a powdered and lotioned little old woman. And that's just lovely when you're going home. But that's not the best smell for food. Trust me. For the rest of the day, I just wasn't really very hungry. I had a couple of turkey and cheese (fat-free) sandwiches on whole wheat bread. And I'll probably have a cup of yogurt before bed. Tomorrow I need to make an effort to eat some veggies. And going forward, I need to really focus on getting fruits and veggies into my diet each day. No sense losing weight if I just end up making myself sick!
On the plus side, I got some proposals finished and made headway today on the pro bono work I'm doing for a non-profit. And I spent some time getting back into the attempt to learn how to do Flash on a website. I know it can't possibly be as hard as it seems right now. I'm a smart woman and I have the ability to learn anything. So I just need to get myself past this mental block. However, today it seems impossible. I will just have to console myself with the fact that I have been trying and will continue to try.
And tomorrow I will try again to implement the Grand Plan. If I only do as much as I did today, that won't be terrible. Will it?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Week 1, Day 2
I was a naughty girl today, worthy of the most cringe-inducing yell-fest any of the trainers on Biggest Loser have ever given. But I have had successes, too.
I did well this morning through the afternoon. A half a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread (the real deal, not just white bread colored brown) for breakfast, the other half for lunch. Plenty of water. A quarter of a brownie. Never hungry. Doing great so far.
Then Adam came home. It was a day off from his job as a trainer at a restaurant. He had already been out with friends, and he was eager to go out for the evening rather than stay home. Nothing big, just out. So we went to Barnes and Noble and figured we would think of something else later if that bored us. He must have forgotten I was starting Biggest Loser. He's such a sweet kid (hardly a kid at 20, but always my little boy at any age), and I had barely found some books and magazines to peruse and a comfy place to park my hiney when he came with a soda and a cookie for me and a coffee and pastry for himself. He meant well. Such a nice person. A mother couldn't ask for a better son. So I never said a word to him about the yummy items being verboten. I enjoyed the soda (I really was thirsty), and I spent the next two hours slowly enjoying the oatmeal raisin cookie.
Okay, that was bad, but it wasn't the worst. He also wanted to have a late dinner at a nearby pizza buffet. I was as good as possible. Now keep in mind that their pizza slices are short and skinny -- only about an inch and a half across at the outer edge and about four inches long. I had two and a half slices. And no dessert. In normal pizza slice measurements, it was actually a little over one slice. I know...I'm justifying. I should probably have spoken up and asked Adam to choose a different place. But he never asks for much and never complains. And I don't regret going out with him to his place of choice.
After dinner, we went by Walmart to pick up some things, and I spent an hour walking off some of the diet transgressions. Plus, earlier today I spent about a half hour lifting hand weights so can I try to get rid of some of my arm flab. I tried doing leg lifts this morning, but it sent my back into horrible spasms, so I'll stay away from those until my back gets better. Clearly, there are things I CAN do, so I'll stick with those throughout the coming weeks.
So...there went Day 2. Not a great start. But tomorrow is coming, a new day to work toward success. And I'll enjoy the book I bought tonight at Barnes and Noble.
I did well this morning through the afternoon. A half a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread (the real deal, not just white bread colored brown) for breakfast, the other half for lunch. Plenty of water. A quarter of a brownie. Never hungry. Doing great so far.
Then Adam came home. It was a day off from his job as a trainer at a restaurant. He had already been out with friends, and he was eager to go out for the evening rather than stay home. Nothing big, just out. So we went to Barnes and Noble and figured we would think of something else later if that bored us. He must have forgotten I was starting Biggest Loser. He's such a sweet kid (hardly a kid at 20, but always my little boy at any age), and I had barely found some books and magazines to peruse and a comfy place to park my hiney when he came with a soda and a cookie for me and a coffee and pastry for himself. He meant well. Such a nice person. A mother couldn't ask for a better son. So I never said a word to him about the yummy items being verboten. I enjoyed the soda (I really was thirsty), and I spent the next two hours slowly enjoying the oatmeal raisin cookie.
Okay, that was bad, but it wasn't the worst. He also wanted to have a late dinner at a nearby pizza buffet. I was as good as possible. Now keep in mind that their pizza slices are short and skinny -- only about an inch and a half across at the outer edge and about four inches long. I had two and a half slices. And no dessert. In normal pizza slice measurements, it was actually a little over one slice. I know...I'm justifying. I should probably have spoken up and asked Adam to choose a different place. But he never asks for much and never complains. And I don't regret going out with him to his place of choice.
After dinner, we went by Walmart to pick up some things, and I spent an hour walking off some of the diet transgressions. Plus, earlier today I spent about a half hour lifting hand weights so can I try to get rid of some of my arm flab. I tried doing leg lifts this morning, but it sent my back into horrible spasms, so I'll stay away from those until my back gets better. Clearly, there are things I CAN do, so I'll stick with those throughout the coming weeks.
So...there went Day 2. Not a great start. But tomorrow is coming, a new day to work toward success. And I'll enjoy the book I bought tonight at Barnes and Noble.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Week 1, Day 1
7:11 pm
This is it. The show The Biggest Loser has started. Liz is a 49 year old grandmother. So am I. They haven't had the weigh-in yet. So I don't know how similar she and I are yet. Last year when I lost weight with Biggest Loser, I picked the people who were closest to me in weight and rooted for them. It's hard. It's not just about the weight. These are people, not just pounds. They have stories and personalities. Some are in it for their health, some are in it for the prize money. So I'm not sure yet who I'm going to hope with.
I did my weigh-in before the show started. Fully clothed, but no shoes. 259 pounds. My back is killing me. Any movement hurts like fury. And without income or health insurance, I can't go to the doctor. Exercise hurts. But I can't help but think that dropping some pounds will help. Right now I don't intend to let it stop me. It might slow me down, but I can't let it stop me.
7:17
They just brought back Dan from last season. He's a 20 year old kid who started out last year at 454 pounds and lost 142 pounds. But he still has a long way to go. So they are giving him a second chance, a chance to finish what he started. That's sort of the theme of this season -- second chances. It's so appropriate that I'm giving this another shot -- my second chance, too.
7:25
Two contestants are at the hospital. Mo is a coach, and a mile walk along the beach did him in. They just took another of the contestants, Tracy, away by helicopter after finishing the 1-mile walk. She just plain collapsed. At first she was a few hundred feet away from the finish line and unable to get up on her feet by herself. Her fellow contestants came to help her make it all the way. But as soon as she got across the finish line, she completely collapsed on the ground, unresponsive. One of the contestants commented that the scary thing was that it could have happened to any of them because they were all so unhealthy and out of shape. And the really scary thing is that the same is true for me.
7:44
Liz -- the 49 year old grandma -- is 267. Just a few pounds more than I'm starting with. And by the way, I think it's bad form for fast food restaurants to advertise on the Biggest Loser. Runza's fried chicken strips are NOT health food!
7:48
Dan, the kid from last season, is starting out at 312. His teammate, Shay, is starting out at 476 pounds. He is so positive and hopeful, so he will be great inspiration for her.
"It's a choice. Make a different choice" -- Jillian, trainer
"You're not quitting. It's not an option." -- Bob, trainer
8:08
This second hour of the show has gotten serious. Not that the first half wasn't serious. But it wasn't scary like this hour has started out to be. Right now each contestant is meeting with a doctor after having had a battery of tests, and they're finding out what their biological age is as compared to their chronological age. For instance, Shay, the lady who is 476 pounds, is 29 years old, but she has the body of a 45 year old. Mo is 55, but he has the body of a 69 year old. Sean, a 29 year old youth pastor, just found out he has type-2 diabetes and is devastated by the news.
8:45
Apparently a full week has passed since the first show. The weigh-ins were brutal this time because someone is going home now. Sometimes it's easy to forget that this is a competition. The black team is up for elimination; one of them will go home. Alexandra lost 13 pounds. Julio lost 13 pounds. Their combined total percentage of weight lost wasn't good enough. Can you imagine 13 pounds in one week not being enough?
Alexandra is a beautiful young woman at any weight. They showed how she did on her own at home after being on the Biggest Loser ranch. She lost 60 amazing pounds and will lose more before the finale. God bless her for being our beginning example.
"Success is the determination that you have in your heart." -- Alexandra, Biggest Loser contestant
Wish me luck.
This is it. The show The Biggest Loser has started. Liz is a 49 year old grandmother. So am I. They haven't had the weigh-in yet. So I don't know how similar she and I are yet. Last year when I lost weight with Biggest Loser, I picked the people who were closest to me in weight and rooted for them. It's hard. It's not just about the weight. These are people, not just pounds. They have stories and personalities. Some are in it for their health, some are in it for the prize money. So I'm not sure yet who I'm going to hope with.
I did my weigh-in before the show started. Fully clothed, but no shoes. 259 pounds. My back is killing me. Any movement hurts like fury. And without income or health insurance, I can't go to the doctor. Exercise hurts. But I can't help but think that dropping some pounds will help. Right now I don't intend to let it stop me. It might slow me down, but I can't let it stop me.
7:17
They just brought back Dan from last season. He's a 20 year old kid who started out last year at 454 pounds and lost 142 pounds. But he still has a long way to go. So they are giving him a second chance, a chance to finish what he started. That's sort of the theme of this season -- second chances. It's so appropriate that I'm giving this another shot -- my second chance, too.
7:25
Two contestants are at the hospital. Mo is a coach, and a mile walk along the beach did him in. They just took another of the contestants, Tracy, away by helicopter after finishing the 1-mile walk. She just plain collapsed. At first she was a few hundred feet away from the finish line and unable to get up on her feet by herself. Her fellow contestants came to help her make it all the way. But as soon as she got across the finish line, she completely collapsed on the ground, unresponsive. One of the contestants commented that the scary thing was that it could have happened to any of them because they were all so unhealthy and out of shape. And the really scary thing is that the same is true for me.
7:44
Liz -- the 49 year old grandma -- is 267. Just a few pounds more than I'm starting with. And by the way, I think it's bad form for fast food restaurants to advertise on the Biggest Loser. Runza's fried chicken strips are NOT health food!
7:48
Dan, the kid from last season, is starting out at 312. His teammate, Shay, is starting out at 476 pounds. He is so positive and hopeful, so he will be great inspiration for her.
"It's a choice. Make a different choice" -- Jillian, trainer
"You're not quitting. It's not an option." -- Bob, trainer
8:08
This second hour of the show has gotten serious. Not that the first half wasn't serious. But it wasn't scary like this hour has started out to be. Right now each contestant is meeting with a doctor after having had a battery of tests, and they're finding out what their biological age is as compared to their chronological age. For instance, Shay, the lady who is 476 pounds, is 29 years old, but she has the body of a 45 year old. Mo is 55, but he has the body of a 69 year old. Sean, a 29 year old youth pastor, just found out he has type-2 diabetes and is devastated by the news.
8:45
Apparently a full week has passed since the first show. The weigh-ins were brutal this time because someone is going home now. Sometimes it's easy to forget that this is a competition. The black team is up for elimination; one of them will go home. Alexandra lost 13 pounds. Julio lost 13 pounds. Their combined total percentage of weight lost wasn't good enough. Can you imagine 13 pounds in one week not being enough?
Alexandra is a beautiful young woman at any weight. They showed how she did on her own at home after being on the Biggest Loser ranch. She lost 60 amazing pounds and will lose more before the finale. God bless her for being our beginning example.
"Success is the determination that you have in your heart." -- Alexandra, Biggest Loser contestant
Wish me luck.
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