Baby Steps

So, here I am, weighing the same as I did last week. The same, in fact, as I did last month and the month before. But I'm doing better at drinking more water. That's something I really had gotten out of the habit of doing. Baby steps. Amazing how easy it is to fall back into old habits. But with baby steps I'll get back into better ones again.

I'm not sure why I've been so tired the past few weeks. Like really, really tired. I think part of me wants to hibernate in the winter. I'm having a hard time pushing myself to do any kind of exercising. So for now I'll have to rely on better eating habits. Breakfast is now a whole grain bagel, a turkey sausage patty, an egg (but only the egg white), and a slice of cheese. If I'm still hungry, I have a cup of yogurt or a banana. For breaks at work I have a banana. Dinner varies. Sometimes I do well, sometimes not. And when I'm in between customers at work, I do deep knee bends and leg lifts. Sometimes. Not like 3 hours of exercise. But I think I'm doing better. Baby steps, right?

Year 2, Day 3

Okay, I'm really serious about losing weight this year. I've been coasting for about six months, maintaining my weight. Now it's time to take off the remaining 50 I need to dump. With that in mind, I ate oatmeal and fruit for breakfast yesterday morning and a plate of mixed veggies for dinner. Today I've had oatmeal and fruit for breakfast again and chicken with pasta for dinner. The big thing is for me to keep eating -- something I battled with last spring, much to my ill health, and to stay away from sweets -- something I battled with this past autumn. I'm also back to exercising daily -- something that had become a bit of hit-and-miss thing with me the past few months. I'm back to a daily routine, beginning now with leg lifts -- 50 per leg, and arm lifts with 8 pound weights. I'll see about adding some variety after I get this established as a routine.

I think that's the thing -- establishing good habits again, and coming here to report what I eat and do so I'm accountable again. I've got to stick with it, each day doing my best to BE my best. And I know eventually the weight will come off and my fitness will increase. I saw it happen when the first 100 pounds dropped off. And I'll see it again.

So...what are you doing to be YOUR best today? Remember, it only has to be for today. Tomorrow we can worry about when it arrives. :) I'm here with you all the way.

Year 2, Day 1

Hello 2011! I greet you with open arms! And hello again, dear readers. I hope the past few months have been kind to you. Here's a recap and update of what the first year of my weight loss journey accomplished and what life brought to me along the way:

1. I lost 100 pounds since beginning to lose weight, 80 pounds since the beginning of this blog. It took hard work, a daily commitment to keep trying, and the love and support of friends and family. It also took acceptance of the fact that some days I was going to eat things that would not help my weight loss and some days I was not going to work on my fitness, but that it was okay. I learned to make it all about a lifestyle journey and not a diet, so it didn't need to be (and in fact, couldn't be) a daily struggle.

2. I have 50 pounds to go. I will make it. I'm not sure when, but I am continuing the journey, and part of that is continuing this blog.

3. As I started to feel younger and more capable, I decided to look the part. In March of 2010 I started to dye my hair. The combination of significant weight loss and returning to the hair color of a younger me took a good decade off my looks. And that, my friends, spurred me on to even greater changes in my life!

4. Also in March and April, I conquered some major fears and faced some major feats of endurance and strength that I could not have withstood if I had not worked on my weight loss and fitness. My dad faced two months of daily struggling for his life with many trips to the hospital and far too many days and nights of us not knowing if we would have him with us another hour. My sister was unable to help most of the time, and my mother was struggling to understand much of what was happening. So it fell to me to stay strong and take care of Dad and Mom. I thank God every day that they are both here and that I had the privilege to be a part of that and that He had led me to become strong enough to accomplish it. I thank Him, too, for the friends and family who stood with me 24/7 through it all and beyond.

5. Stress does take its toll, however. Between Mom and Dad's health ordeal, my car blowing up, and my being unemployed for a year and a half, my appetite disappeared, I forgot to eat, and my hormones got messed up very badly. Severe depression hit as a result, and if it were not for my sons reaching out in the dark to try to understand what was happening to me and helping as best they could, and eventually a doctor diagnosing the problem, I would not have made it. Seriously. I was far too close to bungee jumping without a cord.

6. In June I began a new job. I'm still there. It's not ideal. I'm not doing what I love. But I've met some awesome people, and I'm employed -- a lot of people can't find a job these days, so I'm not going to complain. Well, maybe I'll complain a little, but I'll save that for my other blog, The Sample Lady Speaks. Check it out at http://sampleladyspeaks.blogspot.com

7. One of those awesome people I met at work turned out to be a gift from God, and now I'm deeply in love with a man who worships the ground I walk on...no matter what size my butt is


And so there you have how 2010 turned out. In a nutshell: Life is hard. And it surely is weird. But I like how dreams really do come true.

All That Jazz, Week 44, Day 6

Work, school (hard!), car stuff (not so good--bent frame), roommates (long story), parents (they're doing great, by the way!), social life (long story, too...but not one I'm going to tell here, haha) ...ya know, all that jazz to keep life "interesting". But, sadly, no weight loss. I can't really use the word "sadly", though. It's not like I've actually put the effort into it the past few weeks. And weight doesn't just decide on it's own to pack up it's fat suitcase and leave on it's own accord, unwelcome guest that it is. It needs to be evicted. Simply ignoring it won't work. And feeding it sure doesn't work. Dang...

So...anyway, I've had a few cookies at work (okay...truth time...I've had some sweets at home too), and some sodas. And I haven't been doing any exercise at home except for working with the weights for my arms. Honestly, after working hours on my feet, I'm too sore when I get home to do any biking for stair-climbing. The good news is that there is actually quite a bit of walking at work. Not like it's a huge store, but it is one of the larger ones in the city. And there is quite a bit of walking to get my demo / sales supplies located each day and set my station up and then cleaned up and put away at night. Plus, the time clock and employee lounge are upstairs, so at least 3 times a day I do climb those stairs. And the employee parking lot is a block away. So...I'm not being totally sedentary these days. Which all accounts for why I can have cookies and soda and not gain any weight. Not losing any, but not gaining any at all.

But all this confession stuff to get to this point: I need to get "back on the wagon" and start losing weight again. I've got about 50 more pounds to lose before I'll feel like I've actually reached a goal. Don't get me wrong...I'm happy with where I am now. Ecstatic, in fact, to be able to do the things I couldn't have done 80 pounds ago. I hurt when each day at work is over, but I'm soooo happy because no one at work knows there was ever a time when I was too fat to walk like that, too fat to breathe well enough to even get from my bedroom to the bathroom without having to stop to catch my breath. But just because I've reached a point where I'm able to do things again doesn't mean the journey is over. I need to keep going. Really, I NEED to. It's important not just for the journey's sake, but for my health, my comfort at work (less weight on my legs and feet), my job prospects, ...all that jazz. It's time for me to get going again and keep working toward what's best for me.

Today's Tip:
It doesn't matter what distractions life brings ...what jazz jumbles up your life for awhile ..., never be afraid to get back to working on your fitness goals. Getting distracted isn't a failure. Giving up forever is. Keep going! You know in your heart that it's worth it!

Such a Naughty Girl! Week 42, Day 3

Okay, so I've cheated a little. Maybe a lot. I'm back to drinking soda pop. Dang. I thought I had that habit gone. But it's summer and hot, and a cool soda tastes sooooo good. But the scales are showing my definite lack of progress, and I now have to go through the whole habit-breaking again. So hard! And...I must admit, I've been having some ice cream, too. Not every day, and not gobs and gobs at a time. But I have been indulging once in awhile. And if I'm not careful, it will be every day. I know myself. So I've got to try to be more diligent and disciplined. Neither of which are my strengths!

On the good side, I'm about ready to go into another size smaller in my slacks. So clearly I'm still managing to tone my leg muscles. My ample hiney is the only thing keeping my from being in a size --or two-- smaller right now. In fact, my pant legs are quite roomy, but around my derriere the slacks still fit, though they're beginning to get loose. So in spite of my lapses and soda drinking, I am managing to make some progress.

My appetite still hasn't come back, which is fine with me. I simply try to remember each day to eat at least a bowl of cereal and some veggies...or something. Believe me, the results of the hormonal imbalance were unpleasant enough that I don't want to go without food for an extended period of time EVER again. When I saw the doctor a couple of weeks ago, he said I'm still very low on some things, like vitamins B, C, and D. But he doesn't want to see me again until December unless I start having troubles again. So I'm on track.

Mom and Dad are still walking and doing well. Our roommates have moved in. School is going fine. So I guess, little by little, our new "normal" is developing. For better or for worse.

Today's Tip:
Jillian Michaels, one of the awesome trainers from NBCs Biggest Loser (the show that first inspired me to begin my weight loss journey), published a book last year called Master Your Metabolism. Awesome book. Now she has a cookbook to go along with it. Amazon has the best price I've found. I highly recommend it!

My Own Personal Time Machine.....Week 40, Day 3

Wow, 10 days since I last posted. Shame on me! But what a great 10 days it has been! Everything is going great, and I have to say, it's about stinkin' time! haha! I have that new job I told you about before, and I've been through training and start tomorrow. School is keeping my nose to the grindstone, but so far I've made A's on my quizzes. Adam has been inspired to begin his own college journey, and he is now enrolled for the Fall semester in Electronic Graphic Arts & Design. His new position as evening manager at the restaurant is going well. My weight loss is perking right along again at about 2 pounds a week. And I feel better than I have in about 15 years. It's the next best thing to jumping into a time machine! I saw my doctor yesterday, and he was completely delighted at my progress. Lesson learned -- never again will I EVER let my hormones become so very out of whack! Proper nutrition, enough rest, and a good amount of exercise are now top priorities in my life EVERY DAY!!! No slacking off, and no excuses. I hope your life is going well, too!

Exercise lately has been mostly walking in preparation for my job. I've done a bit of work with my hand weights so I don't lose strength in my arms, but otherwise, the focus has been on my legs. I suppose I'll mix it up a bit more after I get used to being on my feet at work. And I think in the Fall when the weather gets cooler, I'll just walk to work. I'm looking forward to it!

As for food, I'm still not hungry, but I have food reminders programmed into my phone so I don't forget to eat. I have a bit of a routine worked out. High fiber cereal in the morning. Turkey sandwich and yogurt in the afternoon. Big bowl of mixed veggies in the evening. And another cup of yogurt later if I'm still hungry. Sometimes I have a fruit smoothie in the afternoon to cool off, but not often. The yogurt has fruit in it, so I'm not too worried about getting enough fruit. Cheating? Yup, I do that now and then. Last week I had a chili cheese dog. And about 2 o'clock in the morning I spent an hour in the bathroom with my body threatening to violently fling disgusting liquids out of various portals. Was it worth the pain? Well...as I was eating it, I would have said absolutely yes. At 2 o'clock in the morning, not so much. But I suspect I'll cheat again now and then. But maybe with cake or ice cream instead.

Today's Tip:
Did you ever wonder which is really most effective, diet or exercise? Women's Health magazine has addressed this question and has a feature on their website that evaluates the effectiveness of both diet and exercise in losing weight, fighting disease, and boosting overall well-being. Check out "Get Fit: Diet Vs. Exercise" at >>> http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/exercise-and-diet?cm_mmc=Newsletter-_-2010_Jun_11-_-Dose-_-readon

Tiger by the Tail, Week 38, Day 6

I am totally amused today. I feel better than I have in years. And not only do I have a tiger by the tail (as the saying goes), but I'm pretty sure today I have a much more fierce roar than he does. Everyone else in the jungle better get out of my way because today I am Queen. Oh yeah, I rule! Good thing, too, since life is making a paradigm shift right now....again.

Okay, to recap: a few weeks ago I was dangerously depressed, I lost my job, my car's transmission had blown up and I was driving a car that had belonged to my nephew and was badly beaten up, and I despaired of ever having life be good again.

This is what has changed: Today I have a new job (I just got hired), I have started college again (holy smokes, my classes are HARD!), my son has decided that college is a good idea and wants to go too, my poor little beat up car makes me laugh every time I look at it. My weight loss is slowly starting up again -- I lost a couple of pounds this week, in spite of having birthday cake this past Monday.

These are the challenges: My new job doesn't pay much. But that's okay. In today's economy and after being unemployed for a year and a half, I'm glad to have a job. My new job will require that I be on my feet the whole time. But thank goodness I've spent the past several months working on my fitness. Yes, my legs, back, and feet will hurt the first few weeks on the job, but I'll get over it. At least I'll be able to do it; this time last year I couldn't have done it. Yay me! My classes are harder than I thought they would be. But that's okay. If I already knew all the stuff, there wouldn't be any need for me to take the classes. I'll just have to make sure I stay diligent in studying every day. We still haven't been able to afford an alignment for the car. So I haven't seen my parents, First Son, Wifey, or Little Man for a very long time. I miss them!

With work and school, I want to make sure I allow time each day for fitness. I've come too far give up the progress I've made or to give up the goals I've set. I'm grateful for the time off I've had to "jump start" the weight loss at my leisure. But now I will have to be much more disciplined and make sure I stick to an actual schedule. I can do this! I just have to want to badly enough to stick with it. Maybe a calendar and schedule it in? Or maybe the same time every day? I don't know. But I'll make it happen. :)

Today's Tip:
Do you love to snack as much as I do? Smart snacking between main meals can actually keep you from making wrong food choices at mealtime. But unless you're careful about your snacking, it can sabotage your dieting efforts. The folks at Eat This, Not That have developed 7 Snack-Smart Guidelines to help snack the right way. You'll want to read the whole list with the explanations, of course. But the Cliff's Notes version is:

• Don't snack if you're not hungry.
• Go for high-protein, not high-carb.
• Keep the salt down, especially for your kids.
• Take the family to the movies (no butter on the popcorn, though!).
• Go nuts and dark chocolate.
• Reward yourself with ice cream (one spoonful triggers the pleasure center in the brain).
• Think dips (the right dips, that is).

Check out the explanations and more in-depth advice with 7 Snack-Smart Guidelines at this link>>> http://eatthis.womenshealthmag.com/content/7-snack-smart-guidelines?cm_mmc=ETNTNL-_-2010_06_01-_-HTML-_-dek

Only ONE Chin!, Week 38, Day 1

Yesterday was party day, and I ate CAKE. Yes, cake. With sugary frosting. And I loved it. After all, it's not every day one's last child reaches the milestone age of 21. However, I am enjoying my fruit and veggies today!

A photo was taken of me yesterday. And I was really surprised at home much it showed my weight loss. So I thought for today's blog entry I would show some "before" photos and then yesterday's "now" photo. It will be fun to do it again when the next 50 pounds are gone!

This is from December 2009 at Christmas time. I'm playing with my doggie, Cinnamon. The slacks are size 26, I wear a size 18 now. The sweater, which you see doesn't even go around me in the photo, hangs on me like hobo clothes now.









This one is from this past September, just as I was beginning this blog. Sixty pounds ago. Not a pretty picture. I tried. But nope, not a pretty picture.

















Look, ma, I have cheekbones and only ONE chin! This photo is from yesterday. I still have some weight to lose -- mostly from my rear end. But I'm well on my way! Wooohoo! Oh...and that handsome man with me? My son Adam on his 21st birthday. And yes, that is a tiara on his head. His friends opted for a princess theme this year. They are as quirky as we are, and that's why we love them!

Baggy Ts and Maggots - Week 37, Day 4

A lot is said these days about the young kids and their baggy clothes. I don't know that I look much better right now. Oh sure, my pants don't ride low around my knees. But they are quite baggy, and none of my t-shirts fit -- I swear another person could fit with me inside some of these shirts. I guess that's okay. Kind of appalling, though, to think how big I was last summer! And a relief to NOT be that big this summer! I think it *might* be time to go shopping again!

The past few days I've been sitting outside in the afternoons. Now that I'm not so big, I find that I have a better tolerance for the heat. Not like I really love hot weather now. That would take a bigger miracle than weight loss. But I don't mind it. Part of it is that I no longer get overheated so easily. And I think part of it, too, is that I'm used to being hot when I workout. No big deal now. Nothing to hate or be all stressed about. In fact, being heated has some positive emotions associated with it now. So ... interesting to see the unexpected changes that crop up as time goes on.

I didn't do any major walking yesterday, but I did an hour of leg lifts and butt lifts. That came out to about 75 lifts per leg with some rests in between and 25 butt lifts. I feel it today, and I'm glad about that. I walked for about 20 minutes at the grocery store and could feel my leg muscles aching a bit. I like doing different things besides always biking or always walking. But I do want to keep focusing on my lower half as much as possible since there's a LOT of weight down there and my legs are still not as strong as I'd like them to be.

Dad is still keeping up with his walking, and Mom has begun to go with him sometimes. I haven't seen them, but I'll bet they're a cute couple -- two 80-somethings sauntering along the hallway together, doing what they can to improve their health. I'm so proud of them!

Today's Tip:
Shhh...can you keep a secret? Eat This, Not That can't! They have a list of 11 Secrets the Food Industry Doesn't Want You to Know, including what beverage makers don't want you to know (some bottled green teas --like Republic of Tea Pomegranate Green Tea -- aren't as healthy as they would like you to believe), what Land O'Lakes doesn't want you to know (there's no such thing as "fat free" half and half --no matter what they say on the label), what supermarkets don't want you to know (if you're stuck in long lines, you're 25 percent more likely to give in to the temptation of the candy and sodas near you while you wait), and 8 other secrets (look for the one that talks about how the FDA allows maggots and rodent droppings in our food!). Check it out here>>>http://eatthis.womenshealthmag.com/content/11-secrets-food-industry-doesnt-want-you-know?cm_mmc=ETNTNL-_-2010_05_27-_-HTML-_-dek

Congratulations! Week 37, Day 2

Congratulations to Season 9 Biggest Loser winner, Michael Ventrella! Can you imagine losing 264 pounds? That's more than I started out weighing last September! He began his journey on Biggest Loser at 526 pounds, the biggest contestant in show history. What a brave guy! Check out these before and after photos! And what a triumph to go on and win the competition! Yay, Michael! I only saw the last few minutes of the finale last night, but I went on the NBC site and saw the photos of all the contestants, and I must say I'm completely inspired to get back into full swing on the weight loss. Wooohoo!

My scales still aren't budging. Each day is a few pounds up or down, but nothing out of the same general range I've been in for a couple of months now. The doctor seems to think it's a combination of the lack of eating and the hormonal imbalance. So I've been eating like a good girl and taking my vitamins. The antidepressants are beginning to kick in, and they haven't increased my appetite like some can, so I'm okay on that front. I just can't figure why I'm not losing any weight at all. So I'm going to work on increasing my activity a bit. I'm doing my walking each day, but I'm going to add my bike to my routine. It's been a few months since I've used my recumbent bike, and frankly, these past several weeks I haven't felt much like doing anything. I'm still extremely fatigued --- the doctor says it's because of the hormones -- but I really need to get the weight loss going again. And I'm sure I can do it. I just need to make sure I never, ever give up. It's a process, not a one-time fix. Right? Right!

Food is pretty much the same each day. Money is still very, very tight. So I need for every bite to count. A turkey sandwich with whole wheat bread. A bowl of veggies, usually peas or mixed veggies. A 1/2 cup of yogurt with fruit, and a banana. Not too much, but enough to fill me up. And all good stuff. And plenty, plenty, plenty of water.

So...I'm keeping up the good fight. You do it too....let's keep on keeping on. We'll get there together!

Today's Tip:
I thought this was great advice for life in general, but particularly for those of us on a weight loss or fitness improvement journey. (Thank you to my friend Marie for posting it on Facebook yesterday.):
"Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do."-Pope John XXIII