It will be another two or three more weeks before I can go home. I had been looking forward to going back to "normal" life, but I don't think that's possible. Something has happened this past month. I will not be returning as the same person. I will have lost weight, gained strength, faced fears, gone from Winter to Spring, and learned how to go from mournful tears to joyful smiles again. And somehow I will have to find a new "normal". I think I'll spend these next few weeks deciding what I want my new normal to be. I can do that -- times like this in life present a unique opportunity to make improvements and take quantum leaps forward. It can be uncomfortable to not have "normal" to go home to...almost scary. But I believe I chose to embrace this as a good thing. :)I think back two months ago and remember being scared and sad about what was coming up with Dad. Afraid we were going to lose him, afraid I couldn't handle that, afraid I couldn't handle the terrible sadness and the decisions and the many other things that come along with losing the rock of the family. I was afraid that even if he survived, I wasn't physically strong enough yet to take care of him and Mom during his recovery after surgery. Since this all began, we came close to losing Dad far too many times, I have taken care of both Dad and Mom every day, and I have taken care of myself without anyone helping me. I have walked the halls of the hospitals, carrying suitcases and bags with me every day, several times a day. I have slept in chairs and on floors and gone days with only a few hours of sleep. Two months ago Adam had not been on his own and I had not ever been away from him for more than a week. When I return home again, I will be a stronger person in many ways and he will have spent two months on his own, also stronger in many ways.
Dad and I have begun walking together the past couple of days, just like we planned on doing before his second trip to the hospital. We've been going to the hospital to walk -- it's a location with places to sit if he gets tired, long hallways, medical help if he has trouble, and no pollen to bother his allergies. And he's doing great. We started out with him only able to go up and down the 250-foot hallway once, and today he did four times. Tomorrow I'll bet we do five or six.
He never did much walking or fitness activity before surgery, but the multiple complications after surgery really alarmed him. The doctor said a lot of it is that Dad is just an old man --or as the doctor more tactfully put it, Dad has had enough birthdays that it is harder for his body to bounce back. But Dad asked the doctor if there isn't something that Dad could do to help himself not only recover faster this time but also turn back the clock enough that in the future he can avoid some of the troubles he faced this time. The doctor said the best thing he can do is to walk -- it increases his lung capacity, helps his cells function better, improves his cardio fitness, and just generally boosts his body's overall strength and ability to fight. Dad will never be a young man again, of course, but if he can turn the clock back even just five years, his body will be better off. Dad was scared enough and frustrated enough by this past month's medical troubles that he is determined to do his part to make things better, so it takes no persuasion at all to get him to go walking each day. He's ready to go! I hope when I go back to my home, we will have created a habit and Dad will keep up the new walking lifestyle.
Today's Tip:
Don't wait until something medically catastrophic in life to establish better fitness habits. Dad had to nearly die before he became enthusiastic about walking. But life is enhanced and even preserved when we take care of our bodies, and even something as simple as walking a bit each day can make a big difference. We get to decide what our "normal" is, and now is a good time to make better fitness a part of our daily "normal".
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