Saturday, April 24, 2010

Poop. No really....Poop. Week 32, Day 5

Who am I and what am I doing here? Gawd, I hate being this old and still needing to "find myself". My body is falling apart. I have no job and am having no luck getting new clients. And I feel like my dreams are evaporating in front of my eyes. I've been home a week, and it hasn't been a good one. It gets better, though, right?

We had friends over on Wednesday, and I got pizza for us for dinner. Chicken pizza from Dominos. I thought if I was going to eat something less than perfect for a diet, then at least chicken was a good choice. Wrong. My "luck" being what it is, I bit into a stray bone and it broke a tooth on the "good" side of my mouth. Who breaks a tooth on pizza? Pizza? Really? I didn't hear from Dominos until late Friday afternoon, and their insurance company tells me that it is the responsibility of the food supplier, who will get in touch with me "in a few days". I don't know what that means. I suspect that means they are passing the buck and I'll have to get an attorney. We'll see. In the meantime, I'm so stinkin' screwed I can hardly believe it.

I swallowed the offending bone, so I had to spend time Thursday retrieving it. I don't think I need to get graphic about just how I had to do that. Suffice it to say it was NOT pleasant. I know myself better than I ever wanted to. At least I have now once and for all with great certainty "eliminated" a couple of particular career paths.

I have spent a sizeable amount of time this past week job hunting. I applied places I would rather eat tin foil than actually work at. But the time has come for drastic measures. And the time has come for me to drop any illusions about actually being able to earn a living anymore as a writer. I did for several years. And I really thought I could continue. It was my dream for most of my life. But I guess the time has come for me to let go of the dream and wake up. I sure wish I could have slept a little while longer. In the meantime, I'm trying very hard to learn how to do website design. Anyone want to teach me the finer points? I have the basics and can alter sites that are already up. I just need to learn how to set one up from scratch. Moving foward...right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot...

I promised Dad that when I came home I would walk each day just as we had done when I was in Iowa. I have done that nearly every day. The only days I didn't was on Friday when I was getting the calls from Dominos and their insurance agents. I needed to have my notes with me and didn't want to carry them with me to the mall. I've tried walking outside, and it's still a bit too hard for me. I walked down to the supermarket with Adam, but there isn't a good place to sit along the way, and I still need to do that. Plus, the pollen count is really high right now. So I think I need to really stick with the mall. I checked into the mall walking program at the mall near us, and there doesn't seem to be one ( I think I mentioned that before), so I just go until I"m really tired. I have the time right now, so I might as well just do the walking and resting thing each time until my legs and feet hurt. No pain, no gain, right? I started working with my weights in the evenings, and this coming week I'll start using my bike again, too. Maybe I can go clothes shopping again. Ah yes, the silver lining again! :) Some goals are still attainable, and I will not give up.

Today's Tip:
When life involves sorting through a lot of crap (sometimes literally), keep moving forward toward the goals you know you can still achieve. Maybe, just maybe you'll find that the others are still achievable, too. It's worth a try.


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