Week 16, Day 4

What a great way to start 2010 -- watching reruns of Season 3 from Biggest Loser. I missed Season 3 when it originally ran, so this was great! This was awesome motivation to get me completely in the mood to get going and not fall in the trap holiday eating can put us in. Wooohooo!

Now that's not to say I ate well today. LOL. I didn't do badly. But I didn't eat really well. I had 3 banana mini muffins for breakfast. Two yogurts for lunch. A really crappy Burger King hamburger for mid-afternoon snack --and believe me, I wish I hadn't. Ugh -- how do people eat those things? I didn't sleep well last night because I was babysitting Little Man and kept one ear open for him, so I was really tired today and got a soda at Burger King to load up on caffeine. Big mistake. Really, I don't know how I drank those things before. Nasty. Completely nasty. I had a couple of sips and had to throw the rest out. Anyway, for dinner I had a bowl of Italian wedding soup -- canned, and added the traditional blackeyed peas for New Years to it. Not great tasting, but who am I to argue with tradition? And the whole shebang was only about 400 calories, so it wasn't too bad. I'm guessing the whole day only cost me about 1000 calories. So I guess it wasn't too bad a start to the new year.

Little Man gave me a bit of a workout -- as always. I love the little guy to pieces. And he's old enough now that we can really interact. He brings toys to me now for us to play with. And...he runs from me when he doesn't want to do what I want him to. I can't be mad at him -- it's too cute to watch his little hiney running from me! First Son and Wifey went to Brownville, NE, last night and spent New Year's --and their 2nd anniversary -- at an elegant little bed and breakfast inn on the Missouri River. Dinner was served, their room was upgraded to the best possible, and fireworks were shot off at midnight. It was all quite festive, and I'm so glad that Adam and I were available to watch Little Man so First Son and Wifey could go spend a special anniversary together. And I'm delighted that I've come far enough in my journey to have quite efficiently taken care of an 18-month old. Six months ago I couldn't have. Again...a great way to begin the new year!

RESOLUTIONS
The temp tonight is 16 below zero -- that's the actual temp, not the wind chill. Since I have asthma, that's a concerning figure. And this is all the more reason for me to continue without ceasing on this journey. I must get in shape if only because the extremes of each season shouldn't be a life-and-death event for me. I'm not one to make a whole list of New Year's resolutions, but I am always aware of WHY I'm on this journey, why A New Suit exists. What are YOUR motivators as you enter 2010? What are YOUR hopes and dreams for the coming year -- and how can I help you achieve them? Let me know!

Week 16, Day 3

Although this blog is ongoing, this is the final post of 2009, and like many people, I have a weight gain to report from the holiday season. But not too much. I went from 226 on Dec 22 to 230 today. All things considered, a 4 pound gain isn't too bad. Right?

And by "all things considered", I mean a blizzard on Christmas Eve, being snowed in until the following Tuesday, and graciously eating in moderation the food our hosts (my parents) abundantly shared. Sweet rolls for breakfast, dessert each night, noodles, cheese, and such at dinner time, etc. Mom and Dad have eaten this way for decades, and the holidays are no time to make a big hairy deal out of special meals for me, especially when we're snowed in and eating food they hadn't counted on sharing out of their limited means. And Mom, bless her heart, is one of those good cooks who always insists everyone take second helpings. Workouts were limited. No stairs, no bike, no way to get out for a walk, none of my usual stuff.

My innards have been paying for Christmas week. I don't handle stress well, for one thing. And I inherited my mother's finicky innards. So the weather watching and crazy ride over to Iowa on Christmas Eve had my insides pretty well wrecked. I was completely determined to NOT miss this Christmas since my dad is facing some major health hurdles in the very near future (please pray for him). But I think I must have been a bit nuts to take off in the kind of weather we were having. There were times when the road wasn't even visible --heck, none of the outside was visible, and I'm quite certain it was only God and His angels keeping us on the highway. It took us a little under three hours to make an hour and 15 minutes trip. Then there was more weather watching as we tried to figure when we could leave to get Adam back to work. He got someone to work for him on Saturday and completely missed Sunday. Monday he had off, and finally on Tuesday morning the highways cleared enough to allow tow trucks through -- I figured then if we got stuck, at least someone could come rescue us. Between all this an the normal stresses of holidays, I have been alternating between diarrhea, nothing moving at all, and throwing up (which just started yesterday --yippy).

NEW YEAR GOAL
The good news is that the new season of Biggest Loser begins next week on Tuesday, January 5. I'm so excited! My older son, Dan, got me one of the Biggest Loser videos and some resistance bands for Christmas. With that and the exercise shoes Adam got me, I'm all set to make great progress in the coming months. As you know, my goal is it make it to 184 by March 27. I'm at 230 today, so I've got a looong way to go. Frankly, I'm not sure I can make it. But I KNOW I can at least get under 200 pounds by then. And I WILL make that goal for SURE! What are YOUR goals?

Today's Tip:
All the experts say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and that we should take it easy on the evening meal. My friend Charlotte found this on someone else's blog, and I thought it was good to share here as a reminder of the way our meals should be eaten: "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar." Thanks, Charlotte!

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Week 15, Day 1

I hit 226 pounds today. Thank you to all who have been offering support through these very difficult times. Though the blog postings have been only intermittent, you have still been amazing in your support and in helping me through this. Thank goodness for Facebook, Hotmail, and cellphones -- and for the loving kindness of friends. I am forever grateful.

Food has been a forced issue this last week, only a few bites of a sandwich once in awhile, simply enough to hold me while I pop down a few vitamins. I have no appetite and can't seem to stand the thought of it. These past couple of days intestinal distress has quickly removed whatever calories I've taken in. Definitely not the way I intended to lose weight. But I guess if it gets me where I need to be, it's not all bad. Maybe it will get me there before it's too late. It sure would be nice if I make it to slim and healthy in time for Dad to be proud of me.

Please continue to pray for him.

Today's Tip:
Don't put off your weight loss. There are people who want to see you healthy NOW, and they may not be here later to see it if you delay. Trust me, you'll regret it deeply.

Week 14, Day 3

I know I'm not unique in having painful family issues to deal with. We all have things that come up, and we all have passages to traverse. And I'm guessing when we do, we all feel like the only ones who ever felt so bad, sad, etc. I'm not going to go into any of it in a public forum like this, but suffice it to say, crap is hitting at a time when I'm already depressed and struggling, and it looks like the bumps in the road are about to become big ol' mountains to climb. Considering my appetite has gone completely away today, I'm guessing this can either be the best thing possible in terms of losing weight (though probably not the most healthy way to do it) or it can be devastating to my efforts. Clearly, I need to be careful and make sure I don't resort to comfort eating. No mass quantities of chocolate to get me through, or huge plates of pasta and cheese late at night to help me finally go to sleep. Wish me luck.

Today's Tip:
Eat This, Not That has some great advice about food additives that can not only compromise your health, but also sabotage your diet. Their recent newsletter says:

"A secret ingredient in packaged foods may be making you fat. University of North Carolina scientists found that people who ate monosodium glutamate (a.k.a. MSG) were more likely to be overweight than those who didn't consume the flavor enhancer.

The researchers speculate that the additive interferes with brain neurons, stimulating appetite. Most products don't list monosodium glutamate on their labels, but if you see "hydrolyzed vegetable protein" or "vegetable protein extract," consider it code for "MSG."

For more scary additives, food substitutes, and unpronounceable chemicals that reside in your everyday meals, check out our Food Additive Glossary.

Week 14, Day 2

I think this has been the hardest week of the entire three months so far. Rampant PMS, no energy, terrible depression, hungry ALL the time, and no weight loss at all. I feel like giving up, not just on the diet but on life itself. My head knows better, but my heart is in terrible trouble. I think it's all hormones. If I didn't, I'd find a tall building and take a short leap. This has really been miserable.

I don't even remember what I ate yesterday. A sandwich, a bowl of oatmeal that turned out like crap, a bowl of soup. Something else maybe? I really don't remember. Some leg lifts - about 50 in the evening. I haven't eaten today. I'm hungry, but I don't know for what. That's part of the problem. Nothing is satisfying. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I need. Adam and I are going out to see a movie later on tonight. I hope that helps.

Today's Tip:
NBC has posted info about their new team of Biggest Losers for Season 9. Click here to see it. The new season begins January 5. Just in time for New Years resolutions to kick into high gear. I'll be there. Will you be there with me? Please join with me! I need the support! I really can't do this alone!

Week 13, Day 7

I am firmly retreating from the world tonight. I've had two bowls of hot soup, a sandwich, and two cookies. And now I'm going to take my Jillian Michaels book and go to bed. It's safer there. I was fine until I went out this afternoon and slid sideways down the street about four blocks from home. Coming home, I saw two other cars in the same place smashed up with the owners exchanging information. It took me about two hours to stop shaking. I HATE winter ice!

No exercising today other than the workout my legs get from the tense walking I do on ice and snow and about ten minutes of intense shivering in the car before it warmed up. I'll probably do some leg lifts in bed later on. I'm up to 30 per leg now.

I think my mood lows the past week have probably been because of Mother Nature bitch slapping me again. I didn't think it was time for that nonsense yet, but I guess it's been about three weeks since I plummeted before, so this is only a bit early. Whatever. I don't like getting older, but I won't miss PMS. The Jillian Michaels book talks a lot about hormones, so maybe it will help me avoid a lot of this misery.

Today's Tip:
I have none. And that's okay. Not every day has to be a banner day. We just have to keep moving forward anyway.

Week 13, Day 6

I don't know what's wrong with me. The more I exercise, the more food I want. I've eaten sooo much the past couple of days. And it doesn't help that Adam made cookies last night. Really, really good cookies. They were made with oatmeal, so they weren't complete crap. But they were far from good for me. I walked about a mile yesterday and biked for a half hour today. I've done 50 leg lifts each day. And I've done weight work on my arms. And I've eaten. And eaten. And eaten. And all I can think about is food. And death and loss and really horrid depressing stuff -with associated crying myself to sleep each night. Something is terribly out of whack in my head! UGH! I need to seriously refocus! I'm not sure how, but somehow I've got to get myself back into some sort of "normal" zone. Not that I've ever had a normal life, nor do I want to. I like extraordinary. I like eclectic. But I don't like morbid. And I hate morbid obesity. I'm NOT happy with where I am right now. Tomorrow has GOT to be better!

Today's Tip:
I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday and bought Jillan Michael's new book. Jillian is one of the trainers on the Biggest Loser show. She's the one who is usually the hardest, the one everyone thinks of as a bit bitchy. But I'm finding her book Master Your Metabolism: The 3 Diet Secrets to Naturally Balancing Your Hormones for a Hot and Healthy Body! to be very heartfelt and warm. It's very easy to read, very encouraging, and very full of empathy and step-by-step here's-how-to-really-make-a-change advice. It makes me want to give her a great big hug and then sit at her feet and listen to every word she says. I suspect it's exactly what I need right now. I'm on my way through it again, with a highlighter this time. It's worth really studying.

Week 13, Day 4

I decided today would be a day for giving in. Not giving up. But simply letting myself have the things I've been craving. So I had noodles for dinner and sweets for dessert. It was time to give in. I've had three miserable days captive in the house because of weather, depressed because of hormones, and being driven nuts by cravings.

Hoping to offset the damage I did with my errant eating, I have tried to put in extra exercising today. I walked at the store and am exercising during commercials on tv tonight. And speaking of exercising, what the heck are planks? I've been hearing about them, but I have no idea what they are. Clearly, I still have a lot to learn.

Today's Tip:
Using herbs and spices in your cooking will reduce your need and desire for sugars and salt, thereby helping you in your weight loss quest. But be careful about where you store them. Heat, light, and moisture are all enemies of herbs and spices. So don't store them near these damaging influences. That means that while having them on or near your stove may be convenient, it's not good for your tasty add-ins.

Week 13, Day 3

Good grief, why have I been hungry ALL THE TIME the past few days? All I want to do is EAT. And when I do eat, nothing is satisfying. I suspect is has something to do with being trapped in the house for three straight days because of the blizzard, but still... there has to be some way to deal with this that I have yet to discover.

I've done mostly leg lifts and work with my resistance bands the past few days. I'll be glad when my car is unburied from the snow so I can go out walking at the store. Right now I feel old and blobby. And my knees and back hurt. I loved the finale of the Biggest Loser on Tuesday, but since then I've just felt really big. They are skinny and I'm huge. And I just want to sit down and cry. Okay, so that's not gracious or strong of me to admit, but it's honest. Perhaps it's only hormonal or just stir-crazy induced, but today just doesn't feel good. Maybe tomorrow will be better and I'll keep moving forward to my goals.

Food log: sandwich, bowl of cereal, and a yogurt. Maybe something later to make my stomach stop burning.

Today's Tip:
Not every day is going to be filled with energy, success, and enthusiasm when you're on a weight loss and fitness journey. Admit it, don't feel guilty, and NEVER let it stop you.

Week 13, Day 2

I exercised during all but two commercial breaks last night during the Biggest Loser two-hour finale. So why do I feel fat today? I really want to meet my 50 pounds of additional weight loss by March 27, so I really need to hit it hard each day between now and then. Only 107 days left, a little more than 15 weeks. So I need to lose about one pound every other day or about 3-1/2 pounds a week. Can I make it? I don't know now. I might have gotten too optimistic when I set that goal.

Eating has been a bit messed up, though. My stomach has been burning yesterday and today. Usually I eat something like crackers or soup or something to make it feel better, and I tried that last night. But nothing is working. All I did was add calories I don't need. Ugh. I've had a sandwich and two yogurts to eat today. I don't know what I'll do for dinner. I want a big salad, but I don't have the ingredients and can't get out because of the snow. I have some frozen veggies. I think I might add some cheese and have that for dinner.

SUBWAY AND THE BIGGEST LOSER
I watched the Biggest Loser finale last night, of course. It turned out pretty much like I expected. Danny won. Liz didn't make it into the final three. And two of the contestants looked like skeletons -- Rebecca and Tracey. But the pleasant surprise was what Subway is doing for Shay. She started out so big...476 pounds, and lost 172 pounds. Great job! But that still puts her at 306 pounds. So Subway is offering her $1000 per pound she loses between now and the finale of the next season of Biggest Loser. A 100 pound loss could mean $100,000 in her pocket. That's a great incentive! The reality is that it's a great marketing gimmick. But that's potentially a huge amount of money for them to spend, so I can't help but believe that at some level they really do care. Not only that, but the 2009 Zagat Fast-Food Survey has rated the Subway brand as the #1 overall provider of “Healthy Options”. Check out their online nutrition information for each menu item.

TODAY'S TIP:
Adding even a little bit of walking to your routine each day can help burn calories and boosts your weight loss. And it doesn't have to be hard to add a bit more walking. Prevention magazine suggests these simple ways to increase your steps without spending a lot of time:

* Walk around the perimeter of the grocery store at least once before heading toward the items you need.
* Move in place whenever you're talking on the phone.
* Go through or around the entire shopping mall instead of parking near the store you need.
* Take a walk around the block at lunch and after dinner.