Week 24, Day 1

I did not weigh in today. And I'm not going to until this whole thing with Dad is safely over. We have less than a week to go before surgery. I've been trying to clean house -- a major feat for a slob like me, so Mom and Dad can stay with me. I'm back to frequent uncontrollable crying jags. And frankly, I just can't add weight guilt on top of it all. I'll eat the best I can, do the exercises I can, and it will just have to be good enough. Weighing myself will only add stress, guilt, and worries. I don't need that. A week or so of not keeping track will not ruin the journey. I'll still check in here as often as I can and report what I eat and what I do, but no worries about meeting goals and whether or not I failed.

The day after Dad's surgery marks the 38th anniversary of the death of my brother. Sitting in ICU worrying about whether or not Dad pulls through is probably not the easiest way for my parents to spend the day. I know for them the anniversary is as fresh as if Bill had left us only yesterday. I do not envy them this journey. I ache for them, really. Sometimes I think the only thing worse than dying young is growing old. I want so much to make this all easier for them, and yet I don't know how. And as long as I'm drowning in my own tears, I'm no good to anyone. I just don't know how to stop. I am so very sad.

Today's Tip:
Advice I hope I can take to heart myself. Though I've been snarfing down Frosted Flakes like they're manna from Heaven, grief and stress are not good reasons to eat crap. Junk food will not really make anything better. In fact, eating junk will only sabotage your efforts to deal with the challenges life is throwing at you, making the grief and stress a more potent dragon that can harm your health and keep your goals out of reach. Slay the dragons in your life with proper nutrition and by using exercise to dispel the excess energy that can build up. Perhaps easier said than done, but no one said slaying dragons was easy.